The Bad:
I'd lose the credits at the start. None of these people are names who will draw and audience, and the credit sequence isn't impressive enough to justify being there, or to hook me - so it just gives me 15-20 seconds to decide I don't have the patience to watch your episode.
Did you use denoiser? The skin in the first shot looks noticable plasticky and overly smooth - enough to be jarring and to draw my attention to it. Maybe you meant for that.
I realise you're going for a slow pace, but I didn't like the fades to black in the starting sequence. I'd prefer a straight cut.
The killing of the guard surprised me, in a not so good way. You seem to be trying to build tension with the slowness of the scene till that point. This could be solved by editing - cross cut between the girl getting ready and him standing there, perhaps. Or find another way to make his danger more obvious. On my third watch through I noticed the girl in the background, so I think you've tried to do this, but it wasn't apparent to me at first. You're also in no-mans land with your sound mix here. You have too much sound to be doing an eerily and unnaturally silent killing (see the end of Ralph Fiennes'
Coriolanus) but not enough to sell the scene as natural. It felt like an underdone sound mix, as opposed to anything particularly intentional, and took me out of the scene.
-In general the sound is poor. I don't like how hollywood overdoes gun sounds, but these sounded like paintball guns at best?
-Actress wasn't amazing. It's nice to see a female, but get her some lessons in holding a gun, for example. Her throwing of the grenade, and dropping of the smoke bomb/grenade/whatever you call it were similarly unconvincing. Similarly, what's with the guy skipping when she shoots at him? Were you using actual pellets? It was unconvincing running, and his little skip (when get was shot?) made it feel like a paintball game.
The good
-The cinematography is really nice in some places. Feels a bit like dslr filmmaking at points, but shots like that at 0.41 (though I'd frame it so the wall only took up 1/3rd instead of 2/3rds of the shot) and 1.53 are nice.
-Some nice stuff tone wise. Liked how you were trying to build tension, even though it didn't quite work at some points. You seem to have an idea of what you're doing and will get better.
-Female protag is nice in this kind of thing. Try not to sexualise her too much in the way action films with female leads tend to tho