watch Final Breath (short)

[DeadChannel]

Hey everyone. It occurred to me that I never put up my latest short on here for feedback. Seeing as how I think I'm generally happy with it, I thought I would.

I recognize that I really do need to work on capturing good audio, but I think the decision to do something of a much smaller scale, while putting in a similar amount of work, has made this my favorite film I've done so far. I think I still have a long way to go, but I'm pretty happy with the results.

Fair warning, the film is kind of intense, and involves a lot of blood in an On the Sidewalk Bleeding sort of way, so if you don't feel like seeing that, it's all good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mSaHD9WSro

 

[DeadChannel]

Bump...

 

[gorillaonabike]

Congrats for completing. If you want feedback, you won't like what I think, specifically:

Concept was interesting and camerawork was OK in a sense the actor was in focus and shots communicated what was happening. After this, the sound was there.

It needed a 'lift' from the technicals. This was screaming out for great visuals, foley etc...

 

[DeadChannel]

Hey, thanks for the reply. To reply to a few notes:

I definatley want to work on capturing better visuals. In the case of this film, I lacked the resources to really work with a lot of lighting etc, but it's an area where I need to improve. Is there anything specific w/r/t visuals that I should look at? How do you think I could have improved this film specifically?

I'm looking at buying some of my own audio gear soon (I borrowed stuff from the actor on this one), so hopefully I can find a space to set up a solid foley studio in the future. We'll see.

Beyond technicals, do you think that the film "works"? I was sort of worried about pacing, because it is rather drawn out. However, the drawn-out-ness was sort of the point, so I'm unsure. Thoughts?

Thanks!