archived-videos Excerpts from a film I'm working on called Detour

(I only watched the first one) The acting was ok, camera work was fine, but you really need to get interesting. Usually after 4 mins I'd be done, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt and kept watching. Really need something more to hook the attention of the viewer. Not that it was boring just wasn't attention grabbing. Thats super important.
 
Yeah once we film a little more we will have enough for a pretty interesting trailer. Thats why I just put out the excerpts just so people would know we are still working on the film lol.
 
At work I watch without sound... with that in mind here are my comments for the first link. Keep in mind these are just my observations, not to be taken to critically.

nice exposure\color, framing is OK, though I think you could use your wide screen more. Most your head and OTS shots are centered, which leaves a lot of space around the outside.. .. that space could be better used as "space" for the actors to talk\look into.

It seems at about 3:30 the eye line gets confusing.. Im not sure WHERE or who the actor is looking at, and when he looks hard screen right (4:30)... it feels really off..

And again when he exits \ enters (a bit of a jarring transition by the way) he comes in on the right of the screen and two shots later tosses his wallet from the left..
 
Nice work. The only thing you might want to watch out for is the copyrighted music. If you're planning on using that track in your final edit, and the series is a success, you could get into some trouble :/
 
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