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video Editing Feedback Request (motion designer branching into editing a music video)

Hi - Usually I'm animating or designing rather than editing, and wondered if it was possible to have some constructive feedback on a first music video? With 2020 being 2020, filming wasn't an option so it was cut together using stock footage, so please do let me know what you think, kindness appreciated lol...

As a motion designer, you'd know that things need to flow together. Trying to put it in your words (I'm weak at design so I might be saying it wrong). You've put a sci-fi font on a retro image. It's a solid effort, but I don't think it's quite jelling together. A rule of thumb with music videos (well it was when I was learning editing) if you fail to tell the story without the sound, you need to keep working on it... unless you're going for a loosly connected montage.

My guess would be the constant returning to the galaxy/star shots that makes it not work, but that's only a first glance guess.

It's very tough to be able to tell a story with limited stock footage.
I enjoyed watching the video and I like the cuts. The idea jumping back to the outer space is good, but I think the shots with the galaxy do not fit well to the rest. I would replace them with some other outer space footage, which fits better to the rest. For example the moon shot which you have at the end integrates much better.
Agree with the previous two comments about the outer space cuts in the first half: the quality of the image, the colour palette, the movement - none of it fits with the feel of the projected retro clips. Those clips are also very "adult" and scientific (scientifically accurate) - not at all like the fantasy world a child would be dreaming of.

For similar reasons, I don't really like the repeated cuts back to the projector. We know the clips are old-style film - that was set up in the opening shot, and it's obvious from the visual effects. There's not really any need to interrupt the visual style and narrative with several versions of the same "establishing shot".

The cut at the end is more ... grounded (? can you describe something as grounded when the camera is flying off into outer space ... :hmm: ) - a young adult's view of the real world: yes, there is something out there (even if it's stuff we sent up) and looking back at our own planet, our own point of reference.

Overall, though, the composition is pretty coherent, and even if it wouldn't be an award-winning production, you've made good choices in respect of the real-life stock footage.