Something I was writing a while back. Blowing the dust off and taking another pass over it. How does this read? Keep your interest?
Thanks.
Thanks.
Code:
OVER BLACK.
HICKS (V.O.)
You win some and you lose some...
FADE IN:
INT. PORTER’S PUB - MEN’S BATHROOM - DAY
TED, a beefy fellow, dressed in an unbuttoned floral shirt
slams his fist into DAVID HICK’S stomach.
The look on David’s face speaks a thousand words. This
doesn’t feel pretty.
HICKS (V.O.)
God, If that statement were only
true...
Another blow to the stomach and we FREEZE on David’s busted
face.
HICKS (V.O.) (cont’d)
My name is Hicks, David Hicks, and
I really fucked up this time!
FADE TO BLACK
INT. PORTER’S PUB - MEN’S BATHROOM - DAY
David lays face down on the floor, unconscious.
His eyes slowly open. He takes a moment to gather his
thoughts.
Then the pain finally sets in. His expression shows it too.
HICKS
Shit.
David rolls over onto his back.
Towering over him, Ted searches through a wallet.
HICKS (cont’d)
Thanks for taking it easy on me,
yeah.
TED
Business... You know I hate to do
this to you.
2.
David spits a mouthful of blood on the tile floor.
HICKS
I can tell.
Ted’s eyes widen.
TED
You got to be shittin’ me.
He pulls out a few scratch off lottery tickets. Thumbs
through them. One falls and flutters to the ground.
TED (cont’d)
Scratch offs?
David picks up the lotto ticket. Points at Ted’s hand.
HICKS
I got one worth five in there
somewhere.
TED
You’re a fucking train wreck, kid.
Ted tosses the wallet at David.
TED (cont’d)
He’s giving you three days.
Three...
He smiles at David.
David grins his blood covered teeth right back at him. Holds
up three fingers.
DAVID
Yeah three. I got it, buddy.
INT. PORTER’S PUB - MAIN BAR ROOM
Your average pub. Except this one is littered with little
plastic palm trees. A hokey tourist place for sure!
David attempts to hold his posture as he stumbles back to
his bar stool.
David eyes the Bartender, PUDDY.
DAVID
Puddy, gimme a beer will ya?
3.
Puddy, eyes focused on the overhead television, pulls the
tap handle forward and fills a glass with beer.
DAVID (cont’d)
An extra glass too.
PUDDY
What for?
He takes his eyes off the television and glances at David.
Sees his busted face.
PUDDY
Jesus, Mary and Joseph... What the
hell happened to you!?
David grabs the extra glass and spits a mouthful of blood
inside.
DAVID
Troubles in the John.
David grabs the beer and takes a swig.
DAVID
What would you say if I asked you
for a loan, huh?
Puddy’s eyes go wide. He laughs.
PUDDY
I’d say, fuck you! You haven’t paid
for a beer in the past two years.
And with that, Puddy walks away.
HICKS
I pay...
David takes another mouthful of beer.
OVER BLACK.
SUPER: DAY 1
INT. TAXI CAB - MORNING
An old CABBIE stares at the backseat through the rear-view
mirror.
4.
CABBIE
... I said, that’s 12.50. You deaf,
bub?