Does this flow well? Does my story have substance?

[Mirman10]

1.Kills guy at night
2. Lying in bed half covered in blood gun in hand, Half clean with book in hand. (END OF FILM AND BOOK)
3. washes blood off hands frantically
4. Goes to school (START OF REALITY)
5. Borrows book from library
6. Visits dead body
7. Goes home
8. Stuffs dead body in freezer
9. prepares goodnight meal
10. Washes blood off his hands again looks at gun!
11. Opens book in bed
12. Sitting on bench in park, chases victim (START OF FICTION)

What is my story about?
Trying to make the viewer decipher what is reality and what is not!

-A guy who get a book from his library, goes home and reads it. It's about a guy who kills another guy then kills himself over his grief.

 

[victortiti89]

It's about a character who reads a book about a murder and becomes a copycat murderer. Or not, depending on what you want to do... Or, if you want it to be a horror, the book itself makes him want to kill someone. He resists, but the book keeps giving him evil thoughts and he just can't stop reading it, he simply can't put it down. In a mix of reality with fantasy, the hero(who now also " lives" inside the book, as if he was a character-think Bookworm Adventures 2) must fight his way to escape. He burns the book and escapes. Or, he kills someone and kills himself, while the book remains intact behind him(like you wrote in the end)

 

[mad_hatter]

Unfortunately, the way you have this written right now, this doesn’t make much sense.

It could be great. It could be terrible. The concept isn’t hugely original, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be interesting.

This is only for a short, right? I’d recommend actually getting it down in script format. It’ll be much easier to read and much easier to judge whether or not the story is one that is even worthwhile telling.

What is my story about?
Trying to make the viewer decipher what is reality and what is not!

While it’s fine to make the audience think, don’t make their job too hard. It’ll put off a lot of casual viewers!



Best of luck!

 

[Inarius]

It's about an insane teenager, who tries to copy murders from thriller books.

Oh, man, I have so much suggestions to that! What if he reeds one book, not many, and he likes the book so much, that he follow everything the character of the book does. So he copies murders, feelings, emotion... And at the end of the book, the character dies. So does the reading guy - he kills himself.

Is this a full-length film?

 

[Mirman10]

It's about an insane teenager, who tries to copy murders from thriller books.
Is this a full-length film?

UMMM its not about an insane teenager, who tries to copy murders from the thriller book. It is literally the story of the book being told side by side the story of the guy who buys the book and reads it!

This isn't a full-length film, it's going to be a short I haven't thought about timing wise but It'll be as long as it needs to be to get the story/plot across.

I'm coming to the point where I'm thinking about the takeaway from the film what will people take away from the film when it's over?

 

[Inarius]

I didn't understand your question