archived-videos Destruction Pt.1

E

Enterlife

Hey everybody, would like to share this little short with everybody. Get some nice honest feedback.

Just a no budget project with a decent camera, and a group of people who love doing this.

Synopsis follows:
A comedy that follows a couple who seem to have hit a very low part of their relationship. Not knowing what to do when they see each other...But when they invite their mutual friend Duncan over, things begin to get a little weird...
Here is Part 1 of 3.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHfJ0K5WcP8

Thanks!

-Life Crew
 
Upvote 0
This is nicely shot. I couldn't say for sure, but I thought I saw one shot in which your subject was ever so slightly out of focus. For the most part, though, I think it has a really nice aesthetic.

What would I change? It moves too slowly. Yeah, I get that it's a scene about a couple who is bored, so to show the boredom, it should move slowly. But this moves too slowly. It's like one of those SNL skits that wears out it's one joke way too early, but keeps going. I think a great deal of this could be cut (at least half of it), while telling the exact same story.
 
Thanks for the reply!

I dig your critique as well. After several replays, I could see what you mean.
Just thought the several silent stares and empty looks could express and deliver a couple chuckles, but its probably just making even longer.

Thank though mate!
 
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