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watch Critique Please

thesociety said:
Hey guys I was wondering if you guys could critique some of my work.

The first video is kind of a spoof video I shot for my school in order to promote our prom:
http://vimeo.com/21396550
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I ain't got nothing for ya, man. You should be giving me pointers!

Okay, maybe I've got a couple items to list. You could clean up the audio a little better. There are a couple times when you transition from one audio source to another, within the same scene, and the difference is kind of jarring. "You're talking about dreams" is the one that jumped out at me. Perhaps you could use a room-tone to smooth things over? Or, do you have time to do a little ADR? Also, especially towards the end, when the climax is building, some of your dialogue is too queit, and I can't hear it over the loud music.

Overrall, though, you've put together a really cool spoof. It's awesome; I like it a lot.

thesociety said:
And the second is a music video I shot for the film club, it has some pretty heavy Christian overtones but check it out and see what you think:
http://vimeo.com/20972215
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Well, on the positive side, you've got some really nice footage. I really like your camerawork; it's quite terrific, in my opinion.

I think the edit needs some work. In fact, I'm wondering if it'd be possible for you to shoot some more footage? In my opinion the edit is just way too slow-moving. I'd point out specific shots, but it's almost all of them. They just linger too long. It's like, okay, he's looking at a picture of his ex-girlfriend. Got it. Move on. Generally speaking, I think pretty much this entire piece would benefit greatly from a much more tight edit.

Here's the problem with what I'm suggesting though -- if you move it along as fast as I would, your visuals would be finished by the time the song is barely half over. So...are you willing to/interested in shooting more footage? I think some simple footage of the band performing would break things up nicely, and allow you to really tighten the story that you've got already.

One last thing -- I'm not too hot on the text. Those title shots are just really uninteresting. If you're set on having text, I'd suggest putting titles over video images.

Best of luck with all your future endeavors. I predict you'll be making some exciting stuff!
 
I think your direction, composition, and cinematography are spot on a look great, your shooting on a DSLR body I assume?

I do have to second Guerilla on the editing though, for both of them. Some of the editing's spot on, but allot of it is lazy, or I would say late. I really like the use of black screen in your edits, but they're probably the furthest off timing wise, and I think should be used sparingly. Using the black screen in your edits can be really powerful, but I think your over using it. You also want your black to cut in and out on count with beat, or with a strong sound effect to give it it's dramatics.

Editing can take a long time to get good at and even longer to master, and it's a very long tedious process, so I hope you don't take the critiques to harsh, because you've got some fantastic work. What is your process? Do you do every thing your self?
 
Thanks for all the positive feedback!
Here's the problem with what I'm suggesting though -- if you move it along as fast as I would, your visuals would be finished by the time the song is barely half over. So...are you willing to/interested in shooting more footage? I think some simple footage of the band performing would break things up nicely, and allow you to really tighten the story that you've got already.
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I did try and go back with the actors I could get a hold of and work on the audio, that was pretty much the best I could manage. One of the downsides of working with high schoolers I guess.

I've pretty much finished with both these projects though, I was just looking for critique. However I will keep your advice in mind on my future projects, whenverer they may be.

Editing can take a long time to get good at and even longer to master, and it's a very long tedious process, so I hope you don't take the critiques to harsh, because you've got some fantastic work. What is your process? Do you do every thing your self?
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I'm shooting on a Cannon T2i. I've really only gotten into filmmaking in the past 6 months, although it has interested me for a while. I shoot everything on my DSLR, I'm slowly trying to integrate a higher quality audio setup into my work. I've kind of taught myself to edit by watching movies and looking at tutorials online, I know I still have a TON to master. But basically, yes, I do everything on my own.
 
Cool, you've got allot of the aspects down pretty well, just keep on it! It can take a long time to get editing down, but there's nothing to do about it other than to just keep doing it! It's really really really hard to be good at every thing, so try to find people that work in different fields to help out with your films when you can, you'll learn a pile from watching them! Grats on some good looking clips!!!
 
Phil said:
Cool, you've got allot of the aspects down pretty well, just keep on it! It can take a long time to get editing down, but there's nothing to do about it other than to just keep doing it! It's really really really hard to be good at every thing, so try to find people that work in different fields to help out with your films when you can, you'll learn a pile from watching them! Grats on some good looking clips!!!
Click to expand...

Thanks a lot! I'm working on as much of my craft as possible, gearing up for film school in the fall. I'm currently trying to start work on another short, but I'm having a hard time coming up with a good story lol. Cinematography and direction are more of my strong suits, actually coming up with a story I find difficult.
 
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