dialogue Critique of a short comedy

Hey folks...Here's a short comedy script I am about to hand over to a friend who will turn it into a neat animatic. I think a very cheap short film can be made out of it to!

Any comments or suggests on how to improve my dialogue are always welcome
 

Attachments

  • STEALING TIME.pdf
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Logline: A financially strapped elderly couple make their way to the bank, but end up arguing about their broken down car, an addictive game show and a cat in heat.
 
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