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critique my cinematography please (3D program)

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It's really really dark. You need to work on some light sources.

Btw, I recognise that dialogue! You posted the script here, a long while back, for feedback. Awesome that you're piecing it all together. :cool:

Gonna replace the voices? Shouldn't be that hard to find real peeps to do it. Would sell it much more than TTS.

What's next? :)

.
 
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Zensteve said:
It's really really dark. You need to work on some light sources.

Btw, I recognise that dialogue! You posted the script here, a long while back, for feedback. Awesome that you're piecing it all together. :cool:

Gonna replace the voices? Shouldn't be that hard to find real peeps to do it. Would sell it much more than TTS.

What's next? :)

.
Click to expand...

haha yeah thanks! I met up with 2 actors on Saturday to film this scene out just for practice, I didnt record any audio. I spent only an hour doing it and when I edited the footage together It turned out pretty bad so now Im turning back to this 3D program to try and perfect it. Yeah the TTS voices do throw it off, I need to record their voices next time.

heres what I shot: http://youtu.be/W2D78u3XXP0

the angles look bad, I might need to try using a tripod. I used a cheap shoulder mount and I think the shakiness makes it look cheap.

I need to work on blocking and placement, I tried fixing that a little in the 3D video.
 
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You're shooting a conversation between two standing characters.
Rip off what technique someone with a budget does.

Disregard the film (which is mildly entertaining, FWIW), disregard the lines, just concentrate on camera blocking and technique:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdUxc--AAO8

Mostly,
  1. move the camera back away from your actors
  2. zoom in to fill up the frame with them more (this makes both characters have a more equal size, better than getting the camera closer to fill up the frame with them)
  3. put the camera angle more acute to the nearest actor to tighten up the space between the two of them
  4. Note multiple intercuts of closeups and mid-shots.

Get top-of-head-to-elbows shots + top-of-head-to-waist shots.

Also, open up that aperture for more bokeh to distinguish the subjects from the background.
Of course, a more open aperture will allow in more light, so you'll need to compensate by either speeding up the shutter speed (which should be double your frame rate), or by locking your shutter speed to double the frame rate and use ND filters to control the light dumping onto your sensor. (Otherwise, GL with trying to control the light outside! :lol:)


Until you get those actor voice-overs you might get better computer voices using: http://www.ivona.com/us/
 
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The animated previz is good enuf.
The live action looks standard amateur for the reasons cited: camera too close or too far away + no bokeh.
I've no comment on the dialog, content, or acting. Only cinematography.



I see both jax rox and Rok are cruising this thread, perhaps they're better suited to add more DP insight.
 
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Shakiness: if you're using a shoulder mount, the shakiness comes from your body. relax. bend your knees. Practice smooth motion, release the death grip on the rig and let gravity attach it to your now still frame.

Lighting: Looks as though you've positioned the actors well for letting the sunlight act as a rim.

Exposure is good on the character to the right, the other 2 angles are overexposed as you're facing the sun more... there's even some light spill hiting the lens washing out the top of the frame in the 2 shot. A flag on your camera may help control that, or cheating them away from the sun more.

Framing: I agree that the background is too prominent (which is the idea that seems to be being hinted at in the previous critiques) to be able to focus the audience on the actors. Moving back and zooming in, or moving the camera closer and zooming out will allow you to throw the background out of focus a little which will draw the eye to the actors who are in focus.

Shutter at half frame rate as mentioned and left there unless you have a specific effect you're going for look-wise. ISO as low as possible to eliminate grain. Open your iris (aperture) to get the desired blurriness in the background (this will be more emphasized the closer you are to your subject), then compensate with the ISO to wrangle your exposure back in.

What are you shooting with?
 
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Rayw's example is great! It shows how good craft can make a very nice scene,even though it is far from any breakthrough or amazing story/cinematography. It is well shot,well edited.

I recognized the script as well lol ;p
The horizontal slide is too fast. Putting a camera behind a grave with a name on it or some sign which shows graveyard or cross or w/e smth that immediately tells what the location is and making a much slower reveal while audio of digging sinks in would be my choice.

Unless you are making previs for your own shoot with limited equipment,I would stay away from just horizontal movement,it is way too rigid.

Angles and framing throughout is far from interesting,I would prefer a tilted down view on the guy who is diggin and maybe reverse tilt up for the standing guy. L cuts or cutaways would make it much more interesting to watch as well. Otherwise it is a tennis match.

I am not sure what is the character relations,but cinematography doesn't tell me anything. Is one of them dominating ? Are they equal? Is there something that daunts them both?

The ending I would definitely end on a digging sound. And it would be cool to see a close up of his shovel digging. You could either dissolve or even match cut it or just do a smash cut,to bright sunny exterior.

I would advice to figure out the emotional side of the story first and then try to convey it through camera. And try to experiment with focal lengths,see the effects of inter cutting different lenses. A film with great creative examples is Hitchcock's " The wrong man"
 
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