I watched it a few times, the goldfish makes me laugh. (Use your tripod!)
I think your instincts for trying to set a tone are coming about, and I liked your shots and editing in Hunting, but I think you should combine the shots and tone (Feel) and editing elements, and show a story that builds to some kind of resolution.
Like… what if you do a cycle of converging and intensifying events?
Hands playing the creepy slow piano .
Your brother in bed, his eyes pop open.
The goldfish swimming in the fishbowl.
Piano a little faster and more intense!
Your brother traveling through the house (as in Hunting)!
The goldfish!
Piano more intense!
Your brother gets a hammer from the shed!
The goldfish!
(Then faster cuts)
Piano!
Brother getting closer!
Goldfish!
Your brother enters the room!
He raises and swings down the hammer!
The goldfish swims!
THUD!
Blood splats on the fishbowl!
Piano stops!
BLACK!
Fade in:
An open container of fish food next to a bloody hammer on the table in front of the fish bowl.
The fish swims around eating flakes of the food.
At the piano your brother now plays the same creepy slow somber piano riff.
Tilt down: To reveal whoever was previously playing the piano now dead on the floor.
The End.
(Or show a fish food container cracked open by the hammer, if you don’t want murder.)
No matter what, combine what you are doing well and use it to show a story with some resolution.
-Thanks-
