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logline COLUMBIA TV Sci-Fi Drama Series logline

Kingda Ka

Kingda Ka

All right, sci-fi lovers, would you curl up with a Romulan ale for 60 Earth minutes with this one...

COLUMBIA (TV Sci-Fi Drama Series) A psychiatrist must confront the possibility a young woman tormented by schizophrenia is suffering from the psychological effects of faster-than-light travel.
 
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Ooo, came up with one even Sweetie would love...

COLUMBIA: A psychiatrist suffering a mid-life crisis becomes part of a sinister government conspiracy when he discovers beings from another galaxy are attempting to communicate through his patients.
 
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Kingda Ka said:
Ooo, came up with one even Sweetie would love...

COLUMBIA: A psychiatrist suffering a mid-life crisis becomes part of a sinister government conspiracy when he discovers beings from another galaxy are attempting to communicate through his patients.
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I have to quote Sweetie here and say "still no" for me.

How does the psychiatrist having a mid-life crisis relate to the main conflict? If there isn't a direct correlation, there's no reason for that to be included in the script, let alone the logline.

Irrespective of the actual story conflict, which is all on you, I would recommend cleaning up the logline a bit:

When aliens attempt to communicate through his drugged-up patients, a paranoid psychiatrist suddenly finds himself ensnared in a government conspiracy.

I would recommend putting the first clause before the second, since it's the more interesting part of the story. Government conspiracies are a dime a dozen.
 
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Kingda Ka said:
You got to be kidding me? You were the one who just said to add more about the protagonist! Go watch Naked Survivor.
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Pretty sure I said this:

Jijenji said:
Don't use meaningless adjectives, but pick something descriptive enough to give an insight into your character and the story.
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From your logline, it doesn't seem that the main character's mid-life crisis has anything to do with his conflict in the story. When you describe a character in a logline, you will want that description to give further insight into the conflict and overall tone of the story. What you don't want to do is just wallpaper your character with meaningless traits. Adjectives aren't Christmas ornaments, you don't put them up for decorative purposes.
 
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Kingda Ka said:
COLUMBIA: A psychiatrist suffering a mid-life crisis becomes part of a sinister government conspiracy when he discovers beings from another galaxy are attempting to communicate through his patients.
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I like it better. This is what I was suggesting earlier. Though not knowing your concept, I was more verbose than I'd like. This fits the bill nicely--succinct and meaningful. I'm not even sure 'mid-life crisis' is really vital to put in the logline if you want to shorten it. For me, the who and what and nature of the conflict are the key pieces. This also suggests a more ongoing project.

"When a psychiatrist discovers aliens are attempting to communicate through his patients, he becomes embroiled in a sinister government conspiracy."

I think it has great potential. Good luck.
 
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All right, this one ready for prime time, SyFi or HBO?

COLUMBIA (TV Sci-Fi Drama Series) A psychiatrist learns a patient tormented by schizophrenia may have been sent from another galaxy to warn Earth of imminent alien invasion.

Columbia's a working title, btw, if the title doesn't seem to relate.
 
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So are there two sets of aliens? The ones who are going to invade, and the ones sending the warning? I thought the idea was for the schizophrenic to be a conduit for messages rather than an alien him/herself?

The "imminent alien invasion" sort of hints at an unfolding storyline, but only if that is what the ongoing storyline is going to deal with.
 
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Very good advice. The "ongoing part" would be more about the B-Story. Or "Big Picture" story.

A psychiatrist learns beings from a parallel dimension travel to Earth to experience the passage of time.
 
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Kingda Ka said:
Very good advice. The "ongoing part" would be more about the B-Story. Or "Big Picture" story.

A psychiatrist learns beings from a parallel dimension travel to Earth to experience the passage of time.
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I think this is much better. I'd probably only give minor tweaking:

"A psychiatrist discovers that beings from a parallel dimension are using humans minds for their own purposes and something big is coming."

I think this gives a sense of the theme but also hints at the edge of what can be explored. It gives it a more "X Files" or "Fringe" edginess. I'd probably want to keep the 'why' to myself. This opens up possibilities. Now the psychiatrist is trying to alert someone. He's trying to discover what the 'something' is, 'when' and what 'their purpose' could be. It also explores 'who else' might be an alien or know about them. So that gives a stronger sense that this is open-ended. Overall, I think this reads best in terms of making me curious about the project.
 
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