This is a script which i pretend to turn into a short film soon, i've been writing it as an homage to both tarantino and rodriguez, it has a few references, vincent, modesty blaise, chango beer and Red apples cigarettes and anyway, im not going to post it all here but im going to post a tiny bit of the first scene so i can get some feedback.
This is my first script so go easy guys
INT. JOE’S OFFICE - DAY
After a few seconds of nothing but a black background the
recognizable sound of a knife and fork against a PLATE is
heard, CLOSE UP of that plate while JOE eats. He wears a few
rings and a watch, grabs both the fork and knife firmly
while he eats and takes is time to slowly savor what must be
one of his favorite dishes .THE VIEW shifts to a WIDE
perspective after a few seconds and we can see more of Joe
and his office.
The blinds are closed and so the room is dark, Joe sits at
his desk, wears a dark suit with no tie, a few buttons of
his shirt are open and reveal a cheesy gold necklace. We can
tell by his looks that Joe here is no goody two shoes, he
looks the type of guy who has been around and seen some
things, probably done some too, he’s looks send the message
that if you fuck with him he or someone will come and fuck
with you.
Suddenly a voice is heard coming from the outside of Joe’s
office, it’s VINCENT, one of Joe’s henchmen if we can call
him that.
VINCENT (O.S.)
Excuse me, Boss.
Joe ignores Vincent’s presence as he continues to eat
probably hoping that he will leave. Vincent however enters
the room anyway and approaches the desk, as soon as he steps
into view we see him from behind slightly to the left while
Joe is in the background, he has dark long hair and wears a
black suit.
VINCENT
Boss i really think--
JOE
Shut up! Sit down.
He immediately sits in front of the desk almost regretting
the decision to disturb his boss, it’s safe to say that
something is bothering him judging by the apparent inability
to sit still in the chair. The small amount of time that
takes for Joe to finish his meal seems to feel like ages for
Vincent, the seconds drag on as if hours had passed and when
the food is finally over Joe takes a sip of wine from a half
full glass next to his plate and slowly cleans his mouth
with a napkin before finally turning his attention to Vincent.
JOE
Now i seem to remember telling you
that i don’t like being interrupted
at lunch time, am i wrong?! Not by
my wife, not by a business partner
and surely not by the FUCKING help!
VINCENT
I know boss, and I’m sorry. I
wouldn’t interrupt you’re meal if
it wasn’t so important.
JOE
But yet you have waited for me to
finish my meal before you tell me.
That alone shows me that it’s not
SO important. It’s not like someone
died, is it ? And if nobody died
then i ask, what is so important
that you had to interrupt my meal?
VINCENT
It’s about MICHAEL, Boss.
JOE
What about him?
VINCENT
He’s really gonna testify against
you.
JOE
That little piece of shit, after
everything i (beat) ever since he
met that bitch--
Clearly angered with the news he slams his fist in the desk
right next to the plate and grabs his own forehead probably
trying to think of a way to deal with the problem.
two things, first english is not my first language so "grabs his own forehead" was the best expression i could come up too and Two, i know the dialogue is somewhat ambitious but i think ill find people who can pull it off.
This is my first script so go easy guys
INT. JOE’S OFFICE - DAY
After a few seconds of nothing but a black background the
recognizable sound of a knife and fork against a PLATE is
heard, CLOSE UP of that plate while JOE eats. He wears a few
rings and a watch, grabs both the fork and knife firmly
while he eats and takes is time to slowly savor what must be
one of his favorite dishes .THE VIEW shifts to a WIDE
perspective after a few seconds and we can see more of Joe
and his office.
The blinds are closed and so the room is dark, Joe sits at
his desk, wears a dark suit with no tie, a few buttons of
his shirt are open and reveal a cheesy gold necklace. We can
tell by his looks that Joe here is no goody two shoes, he
looks the type of guy who has been around and seen some
things, probably done some too, he’s looks send the message
that if you fuck with him he or someone will come and fuck
with you.
Suddenly a voice is heard coming from the outside of Joe’s
office, it’s VINCENT, one of Joe’s henchmen if we can call
him that.
VINCENT (O.S.)
Excuse me, Boss.
Joe ignores Vincent’s presence as he continues to eat
probably hoping that he will leave. Vincent however enters
the room anyway and approaches the desk, as soon as he steps
into view we see him from behind slightly to the left while
Joe is in the background, he has dark long hair and wears a
black suit.
VINCENT
Boss i really think--
JOE
Shut up! Sit down.
He immediately sits in front of the desk almost regretting
the decision to disturb his boss, it’s safe to say that
something is bothering him judging by the apparent inability
to sit still in the chair. The small amount of time that
takes for Joe to finish his meal seems to feel like ages for
Vincent, the seconds drag on as if hours had passed and when
the food is finally over Joe takes a sip of wine from a half
full glass next to his plate and slowly cleans his mouth
with a napkin before finally turning his attention to Vincent.
JOE
Now i seem to remember telling you
that i don’t like being interrupted
at lunch time, am i wrong?! Not by
my wife, not by a business partner
and surely not by the FUCKING help!
VINCENT
I know boss, and I’m sorry. I
wouldn’t interrupt you’re meal if
it wasn’t so important.
JOE
But yet you have waited for me to
finish my meal before you tell me.
That alone shows me that it’s not
SO important. It’s not like someone
died, is it ? And if nobody died
then i ask, what is so important
that you had to interrupt my meal?
VINCENT
It’s about MICHAEL, Boss.
JOE
What about him?
VINCENT
He’s really gonna testify against
you.
JOE
That little piece of shit, after
everything i (beat) ever since he
met that bitch--
Clearly angered with the news he slams his fist in the desk
right next to the plate and grabs his own forehead probably
trying to think of a way to deal with the problem.
two things, first english is not my first language so "grabs his own forehead" was the best expression i could come up too and Two, i know the dialogue is somewhat ambitious but i think ill find people who can pull it off.
Thank you
