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press-release Case 210 - Short Film - Feedback appreciated

Hi

Below is a link to a Short Film I wrote / directed / produced called 'Case 210'. I was trying to be ambitious with the writing on this one by showing a crime being explained via 5 different view points, with clues to the guilty party all the way through.

Would appreciate anyone to view and give advice on what worked, what didn't. Film was shot in one day so I was very lucky with the crew / cast I had. Budget was 1k, and cast of 6 and crew of 5 including myself.


Thank you.
 
I really enjoyed the five-in-one interrogation sequence - think you did a great job writing almost 9 minutes of continuous dialogue suitable for cutting like that (reminded me of some of those old risqué music hall songs), and the unfolding narrative was intriguing, even if the circumstances of the key incident weren't entirely convincing (I suppose this could be attributed to what "really" happened - or didn't - but it irked me that the policeman didn't challenge this point a bit more).

Visually, I liked the contrast between the two colour palettes - Jessica's bedroom vs. the police interview room. The camerawork could have been a bit less static - some slow push-in shots, some movement from over-the-shoulder to profile, maybe some extreme close-ups of David and Tony as they were put under pressure. I thought the posture and attitude of the interviewees was a all a bit samey too, but let's put that down to doing it all in one day! ;) Individually, they were all quite convincing in their roles. The insert showing Insp. Johnson's note pad was a bit incongruous seeing as it was the only insert shot, and the one word was too obviously meant to be a red herring. The sudden arrival of additional sound at 7:30ish was also rather distracting after the long run-in with nothing more than ambient noise - but that's something that could yet be worked on.

It was all going great, for me, until the sudden lurch from a "pure" drama (emphasis on the who, what, when) to a sort of horror-lite just before the final twist. Jessica reacts to a sound that we don't hear, then there's a blast of horror-movie soundtrack, Jessica finds the back door open for no good reason, and there's Brian standing in the shadows. Within the story, none of this makes sense - why would Brian have a key to Jessica's house? If he had a key with Jessica's consent, why would he be standing in the shadows? This episode takes place after David's trial and conviction, so why haven't Jessica and Brian deliberately arranged to meet up? They're obviously very good at plotting and planning.

Watching it all a second time didn't help, and the shot of Jessica's mother leaving the house didn't really have any point (also the colour palette was suddenly brighter and warmer and out of keeping with the rest). This last sequence would probably have made more sense if Jessica's mother had called her out of her room to tell her she was going out, with a shot of her leaving from inside rather than outside. Jessica could be seen to call/text someone "I'm on my own tonight, can you come over?" (did she just lie to her mother, saying she'd be OK, or does she just want company?) and [Jessica's voice-over while she comes downstairs] she answers the door to Brian. Same ending, without introducing a psychopath sub-plot 30 seconds from the end.


The two paragraphs above are offered in the spirit of your request to suggest what worked/what didn't. Based on the overall production, though, if I was in the area, I'd be getting in touch to see if I could work with the whole lot of you. :thumbsup:
 
Thanks a lot for the feedback, honestly that's class you took the time out to provide it.....Agree with the observations...To be fair, the shoot was suppose to be 3-days, but my co-producer pulled out 3 days before, so it became a one day shoot...The Crew and Cast done me justice...But the experience shooting something wee bit different was great....Feed back was great so thanks again.
 
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