Burning Faith-Screenplay Feedback Wanted

[Zaco32]

Hey guys,

This is my most recent screenplay I wrote with my girlfriend. This is our first draft and we are just look for some constructive criticism. Thank you!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZT0_jEa6uoKXWYvqQm8Wh071fjrp6gdDYbiqDa5jkJw/edit?usp=sharing

 

[PhantomScreenwriter]

The difficulty with films where you have religious characters who are very evangelical about it, is that it can come off as being funny unintentionally, or preachy even when that's not the intent. But I think in this story that has been handled really well.

I think that you could turn this into a longer screenplay. The ending is abrupt and that's part of why I think extending the screenplay would be beneficial because it leaves the reader with questions about whether or not the truth will come to light. I think that if you were to extend the screenplay you could potentially have a case of a character's own evil deeds coming back to haunt them.

 

[Zaco32]

The difficulty with films where you have religious characters who are very evangelical about it, is that it can come off as being funny unintentionally, or preachy even when that's not the intent. But I think in this story that has been handled really well.

I think that you could turn this into a longer screenplay. The ending is abrupt and that's part of why I think extending the screenplay would be beneficial because it leaves the reader with questions about whether or not the truth will come to light. I think that if you were to extend the screenplay you could potentially have a case of a character's own evil deeds coming back to haunt them.

Thanks for the comments! I would eventually want to turn it into a longer screenplay but I'm trying to make a short out of it right now. I wrote it to get some people excited and maybe make it a project worth trying for.