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critique BackTrack Short Script critique requested

This is a very short script for a film I will be shooting some time early next year.

Page length: 4 pages

Synopsis: James and his girlfriend Natasmai have a funny relationship. She can understand him, but James doesn’t know her language. When he finds out what’s on her mind, his world is turned upside down.

I'd appreciate any feedback at all – about the dialogue, story, or any tips on how to shoot it.

This is going to be my first real short film.

I am working from short stories I've written that have gotten good responses from people.

I chose this for my first film because it will be a good "practice" story – extremely low budget, focused on the acting.

Thanks for looking.



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That's too bad. That first version, shot as is, would have made a terrific short film.

Really? That's great, I was about to give up on it.

I have an awesome story I just wrote, but I want to practice filmmaking a little bit before I bite off more than I chew.

Thanks directorik, I feel a little more confident about going forward with it.

Just got the actors a minute ago, awesome!
It's good to get feedback but don't take it all to heart or change everything on someones say so. Make the film, you won't win an Oscar but if you can get it made you are doing a lot better than most. I would love to make one of my shorts into a film but that won't be happening any time soon.

If nothing else you would have learnt a bit more about filmmaking. I would like to see it when it's done