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Back story in a treatment

T

thejellygraph

Hi all,

Quick one from a newbie screenwriter. Is back story a big no no in treatments, or is it considered acceptable?

On another note, I'm trying to come up with non-clichéd ways in which to introduce a dead person who has an influence on a character. In this instance, the protagonists mother has died, and I suppose you could say his "invisible need", hiding behind the main story line is to come to terms with that.

I've come up with the obvious glancing at a photo, flash back, angsty conversation with Dad ideas, but I'm not really feeling any of them. Does anyone else have any methods they might use in a similar situation with their characters?

Thanks :)
 
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Well, being such that I'm an artist, I'm a little biased ...but how's bout a painting? If you've got balls as big as church bells, you could have the painting talk to her like it's alive.

-Birdman
 
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How about he's getting rid of some of her old items and having a hard time with it emotionally. He finds one very sentimental object that he decides to hold onto. He pulls it to the side and places it in a box or just a very particular place along with her funeral program.

Of course, this would imply that the death/funeral were pretty recent. Just an idea.
 
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thejellygraph said:
Hi all,

Quick one from a newbie screenwriter. Is back story a big no no in treatments, or is it considered acceptable? <snip>

Thanks :)
Click to expand...

Depends on the audience for your treatment, IMHO:
- Yourself? Throw everything in but the kitchen sink. Get everything down, including all the backstory you need. I love to write treatments for exactly this reason: no one will see it and I get to embellish characters, their history, locations, etc., to be sure emotion and intent comes out (I also think that much of this treatment will make it into the script as subtext.). I once wrote a 15 page treatment for a 11 page script— very useful, it was (once read some old timers used to write a treatment *twice* the length of the final script!).

- An eventual reader/producer/director? Make this one tight, a literary form of the story describing things/places/characters. Maybe 3-5 pages maximum. Avoid too much exposition, stay close to what can be filmed.

My two centavos. Best of luck!
 
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I don't know. I heard that treatments for producers can be up to 15 pages, so that 15 pages is ok.

And I also heard there are 50 pages treatments which include not only the story, but the main characters descriptions, like relevant personal details, internal conflicts, goals, obsessions, weaknesses, strong characteristics, relationships, and etc.
 
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thejellygraph said:
Hi all,
Quick one from a newbie screenwriter. Is back story a big no no in treatments, or is it considered acceptable?
Click to expand...
A treatment which you would submit to someone is basically the script without the dialogue. The length of the treatment is often dependent on what the requester wants. For many, they want no more than 10 pages. Others less. Some production companies want detailed treatments. In all cases, there is no backstory. They want an overview of the movie as it will seen. Since the audience has no access to that info (backstory), it's out of place.

From the second part of your question, it seems like you also realize that the script should demonstrate the character's reactions to his inner state rather than describe them in an expository manner.
thejellygraph said:
On another note, I'm trying to come up with non-clichéd ways in which to introduce a dead person who has an influence on a character. In this instance, the protagonists mother has died, and I suppose you could say his "invisible need", hiding behind the main story line is to come to terms with that.

I've come up with the obvious glancing at a photo, flash back, angsty conversation with Dad ideas, but I'm not really feeling any of them. Does anyone else have any methods they might use in a similar situation with their characters?
Thanks :)
Click to expand...
Anything can be a trigger--flowers, perfume, an item found while rummaging in the attic/basement/closet, clothing store, etc. Depends on the age he lost his mom, how recently she died, and how it happened too.
Code: 
INT.  DEPARTMENT STORE, DRESSING ROOM - DAY

David paces as he waits for Sarah, glancing down at his watch
then up.  Watching the other shoppers milling about his gaze
wanders.

Displayed a couple aisles away, a felt hat lined with faux pearls
sits on a laughing manikin's head.

His eyes fixate and his tight grip on the bags loosen and drop 
to his side as he approaches it with hesitance.

He reaches for it -

                                SARAH (O.C.)
              David!  What do you think of this?

David swings about, his trance interrupted, and wanders back.

                                 DAVID
              Well, uh, I guess it's lovely.

Sarah's eyes roll as she heads back into the dressing room.  
Hangers rustle about loudly.

EXT.  DAVID'S PARENTS HOME - DAY (FLASHBACK)

Young David, his mom and dad are on the front porch heading
to the car when a gust of wind blows her hat off.

It rolls on the ground and David dashes and grabs it.  His
fingers run over the fine felt and chain of pearls along the edge.  

He runs and hands it to her.  She takes it, brushes it off.

                                MOM
              David, you smudged dirt on my
              new hat.

She walks on as David's face sinks.
I'm not suggesting you need to pair every item with a flashback, just enough to get a flavor of the nature of their relationship to set up the dynamics for this character. It's much harder to create a character without actually meeting them. You need to be careful in balancing the exposition from other characters with the protagonist's responses.
Code: 
INT.  THRIFT STORE, DRESSING ROOM - DAY

David paces as he waits for Sarah, glancing down at his watch
then up.  Watching the other shoppers milling about his gaze
wanders.

Displayed a couple aisles away, a felt hat lined with faux pearls
sits on a laughing manikin's head.

His eyes fixate and his tight grip on the bags loosen and drop 
to his side as he approaches it with hesitance.

This is a small dark mark along the edge.

He reaches for it -

                                SARAH (O.C.)
              David!  What do you think of this?

David swings about, his trance interrupted, and wanders back.

                                 DAVID
              Well, uh, I guess it's lovely.

Sarah's eyes roll as she heads back into the dressing room.  
Hangers rustle about loudly.

INT.  DAVID'S PARENTS' LIVING ROOM - DAY 

David's dad sits watching sports when David enters.

                                DAVID
                Do you remember the one mom
                got for Easter? 
                      (beat)
                Sarah was looking for a hat.

Dad smiles and looks over.

                                DAD
                She was in a rankle when that
                blew off into the mud.  Might
                still be in the closet if Aunt Jess
                didn't donate it.  Don't know if
                she ever got your fingerprints
                off it though. 

David's demeanor tenses.  His dad turns back to the game.

David looks towards the bedroom, his eyes and shoulders 
drop and he shuffles to the kitchen.


Good luck.
 
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In addition to the topic question:
If my script is a Sci-Fi with a fictional civilization/city, and there is a character that briefly tells the protagonist the history of the city, should I write that brief history, or I can get away with saying, - "Bob tells him the brief history of this city"?
 
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Inarius said:
In addition to the topic question:
If my script is a Sci-Fi with a fictional civilization/city, and there is a character that briefly tells the protagonist the history of the city, should I write that brief history, or I can get away with saying, - "Bob tells him the brief history of this city"?
Click to expand...

If it's something that character says I would type it all out
 
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Inarius said:
In addition to the topic question:
If my script is a Sci-Fi with a fictional civilization/city, and there is a character that briefly tells the protagonist the history of the city, should I write that brief history, or I can get away with saying, - "Bob tells him the brief history of this city"?
Click to expand...
Film is about what is seen, not what is told. In some movies you will have a voiceover while you see scenes of the history play out on the screen. In other cases, the history is revealed gradually through different scenes when it becomes relevant. There is no hard-and-fast rule but you really want to avoid being expository. Exposition is not bad in itself but is a crutch for most new writers. It discourages the use of visual development of a scene.

Why does Bob need to tell this? What is the least that Bob needs to say about this? What can be used to show what needs to be known?

Code: 
INT. INNER TEMPLE - DAY
The water ripples along the glass domed ceiling.  Bob and
Dave stand in awe and gaze about.

A golden statue of Neptune.  Hanging censers.  Tall Minoan
urns overflowing with pearls and gems.  Marble statues of
male and female perfection.

They walk forward with their flashlights darting about from
one place to another.

                            BOB
        Atlantis.  It's hard to imagine that
        at the birth of the Greek city-states,
        their civilization had been dead for
        centuries.

Dave rubs his fingers over a large frieze covered in  
strange glyphs.

                            DAVE
         It looks to have traces of Linear A
         and the Indus Valley script.

Bob stops and stares.

                            BOB
         My god!  It - it can't be.

Dave joins him and focuses his light.  His jaw drops.
What's important to the story is that Atlantis has similar themes to ancient Greece and its language traces back to ancient scripts which presumably Dave has some expertise in. That is as much as is necessary at this juncture. As the story evolves, I can reveal more. Keep it simple and relevant. We don't need to know everything about this city/civilization, only what's relevant.
 
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