Addressing the reader in your spec...

Unknown Screenwriter

Unknown Screenwriter

The basic rule of thumb... Don't do it!

Addressing the reader in screenplay action/description is the use of words or phrases that speak directly to the reader.

For example...

Frank points the speeding car directly between two oncoming 18-WHEELERS... Will he make it?

When writing a spec screenplay, you should avoid addressing the reader because it interrupts, rather than advance the story and can be distracting. Avoid using questions in your action/description.

Stick to the third person singular:

Frank runs down the sidewalk.

Avoid the second person singular:

You see Frank run down the sidewalk.

Avoid the first person plural:

We see Frank run down the sidewalk.

Everything in your spec screenplay's action/description lines and paragraphs will be "seen." Using "we" not only addresses the reader but it also adds unnecessary words to an action/description sentence. Instead, concentrate on creating a compelling story consisting of unique, multi-dimensional characters.

People who read spec screenplays are professionals. They will able able to visualize what you write so avoid anything that intrudes on the story itself. Only things that can actually BE FILMED belong in action/description sentences and paragraphs...

filmy
 
Sort by date Sort by votes
Great tip - as usual

One that I've struggled with in my own scripts ... and have only recently eliminated.

we see Clive rewriting his screenplay one more time -- removing every instance of "we see" Doh!

LOL.

Only things that can actually BE FILMED belong in action/description sentences and paragraphs...
Click to expand...

The area I've found most challenging when writing a spec script is applying this principle to a charcter's emotional state.

The lazy thing to write is:

John is terrified ...

but what I got from you is the idea that instead of writng the emotion, you should instead find a way of turning the emotion into an action.

John - hyperventilating in terror -- flinches -- throws his arms over his face -- staggers backwards -- stumbles over the DEBRIS -- falls -- curls up fetal on the floor,

The killer kitten pounces -- stops - toys with him -- razor sharp teeth inches from John's face -- spittle drooling onto him.

Have I got that right?

I think the basic principle is that the script has to be as exciting to read as the movie will be to watch, and this means that once the basic structure work is done -- maybe two or three drafts of the script, that the next job is go back and tighten the script and prepare it for reading.

I've been doing just that for the last two weeks, and it seems to me that process is about cutting all the dead wood from the script (any word that isn't needed) .., and then pumping it up -- making it dynamic.

Making sure that all the lazy, pedestrain writing is replaced by action that helps the story.

My experience is that this probably at least three or four passes on the script, tightening and rewritng all the action, on every pass.

Because I'm a Final Draft user, the technique I'm using is -- tighten the scene - just re-writing - then switch on the speech function and have my laptop read the scene back to me -- pausing the read through everytime I spot something else that I can improve -- when I get to the end of the scene. I go back and listen to the whole scene -- do this until I'm happy.

It takes about two or three full days to get through a 90 page screenpaly this way.

Then I sit on it for day -- then start the process again.

The scary part is that no matter how many times I go back, I always find things that can be improved.

With "True" I've done three major structural rewrites and a total of fifteen passes.

In my opinion, it's only now it's had this level of work on it, that it's ready to be read.

This has been a hard leson, because I think like many writers, in the past I'd get a draft done and want to get it out ASAP.

I'm sure I went to inktip too soon with True!

Lesson learned.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0 Downvote
You got it...

clive said:
Great tip - as usual

One that I've struggled with in my own scripts ... and have only recently eliminated.

we see Clive rewriting his screenplay one more time -- removing every instance of "we see" Doh!

LOL.



The area I've found most challenging when writing a spec script is applying this principle to a charcter's emotional state.

The lazy thing to write is:

John is terrified ...

but what I got from you is the idea that instead of writng the emotion, you should instead find a way of turning the emotion into an action.

John - hyperventilating in terror -- flinches -- throws his arms over his face -- staggers backwards -- stumbles over the DEBRIS -- falls -- curls up fetal on the floor,

The killer kitten pounces -- stops - toys with him -- razor sharp teeth inches from John's face -- spittle drooling onto him.

Have I got that right?

I think the basic principle is that the script has to be as exciting to read as the movie will be to watch, and this means that once the basic structure work is done -- maybe two or three drafts of the script, that the next job is go back and tighten the script and prepare it for reading.

I've been doing just that for the last two weeks, and it seems to me that process is about cutting all the dead wood from the script (any word that isn't needed) .., and then pumping it up -- making it dynamic.

Making sure that all the lazy, pedestrain writing is replaced by action that helps the story.

My experience is that this probably at least three or four passes on the script, tightening and rewritng all the action, on every pass.

Because I'm a Final Draft user, the technique I'm using is -- tighten the scene - just re-writing - then switch on the speech function and have my laptop read the scene back to me -- pausing the read through everytime I spot something else that I can improve -- when I get to the end of the scene. I go back and listen to the whole scene -- do this until I'm happy.

It takes about two or three full days to get through a 90 page screenpaly this way.

Then I sit on it for day -- then start the process again.

The scary part is that no matter how many times I go back, I always find things that can be improved.

With "True" I've done three major structural rewrites and a total of fifteen passes.

In my opinion, it's only now it's had this level of work on it, that it's ready to be read.

This has been a hard leson, because I think like many writers, in the past I'd get a draft done and want to get it out ASAP.

I'm sure I went to inktip too soon with True!

Lesson learned.
Click to expand...
Rather than get into a lengthy discussion, I'll just say... EXACTLY. As per our last email about things being FINISHED.

But having said that... I would go further and say that while it's good to start work on other projects, ESPECIALLY to get your head out of the current script (and all the rewriting) I would also recommend coming back to it in a few months and do a polish and then walk away... Then, in another 3 to 6 months, maybe another polish...

As the future becomes past, your perspective changes... Sometimes, DRASTICALLY. What you see 6 months from now is something you could never see currently... So when you see it 6 months from now, you take care of it...

I'll dust off a script and polish it at least once a year minimum after ALL the rewrites have been completed... I do this because my writing has improved... I do this because I want to improve the screenplay... Some things will stick out at you 6 months from now, a year from now, 3 years from now, etc., that you could never have recognized so close to the first draft...

filmy

Edit:
clive said:
John - hyperventilating in terror -- flinches -- throws his arms over his face -- staggers backwards -- stumbles over the DEBRIS -- falls -- curls up fetal on the floor,

The killer kitten pounces -- stops - toys with him -- razor sharp teeth inches from John's face -- spittle drooling onto him.
Click to expand...
You got it right!

filmy
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Upvote 0 Downvote
I completely agree.

There's a real balance between putting enough work in to get a script presentable and over working it.

From the scripts I get sent as a producer, however, it's almost always the case that they've come out too soon rather than too late.

I think one of the down sides of learning screenwriting by being an indie writer/director is that it makes it easy to develop lazy script writing habits. Because I aways knew where I was going with a scene - no need to sell it - no need to format it properly - no need to endlessly challenge it and rework it

If the writing doesn't get challenged or honed in the same way as it would for a spec script ... it ends up being less than it could have been.

It ends up being "John is terrified"

By forcing myself to write to spec script standards, even when I plan to make the film myself, I believe that it will result in a better, more dynamic film.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Clive...not a single semicolon on this page! I'm so proud
Click to expand...

Me and SEMI-COLON (32), had a pretty torid thing going on for a while -- but she got in the way of my career -- so she's HISTORY -- I'm seeing this racy little DOUBLE-DASH (26), now -- she's HOT! -- likes her sentences INCOMPLETE - BRIEF - PACY!

Just between you and me, I'm getting a little SINGLE-DASH action on the side.;)
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0 Downvote
clive said:
Me and SEMI-COLON (32), had a pretty torid thing going on for a while -- but she got in the way of my career -- so she's HISTORY -- I'm seeing this racy little DOUBLE-DASH (26), now -- she's HOT! -- likes her sentences INCOMPLETE - BRIEF - PACY!
Just between you and me, I'm getting a little SINGLE-DASH action on the side.;)
Click to expand...

If you're going to get down with grammer- don't forget it only takes one missing period and your whole sentance can fall apart.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
If you're going to get down with grammer- don't forget it only takes one missing period and your whole sentance can fall apart.
Click to expand...

Isn't it more like -- one missed period and the sentence never ends ....

Oh, by the way -- if anyone else is suffering from over active semi-colons - I know this clinic that offers semi-colonic irrigation.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0 Downvote
clive said:
Isn't more like -- one missed period and the sentence never ends ....

Oh, by the way -- if anyone else is suffering from over active semi-colons - I know this clinic that offers semi-colonic irrigation.
Click to expand...


That seems a little intrusive. I hope that there is comma induced anaesthetic that can be administered first
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top