archived-videos A 1min and 24sec Comedy Short Film Wanting Your Critique!!

Micah Conrad

Micah Conrad

Hey everyone, my latest comedy has just been uploaded and I, as always, would really love your feedback if you could spare a minute or two!

Let me know what you thought of the acting, dialogue, pacing of the edit, sound, lighting, or whatever you'd like! I'm trying to whip these videos out as quickly and efficiently as I can to try and retain an audience base so I'll have my next video (and action flick) hopefully in the next month and a half (in school that's why it takes so long :/)

Thanks a ton in advance, I sincerely love your guy's feedback whether positive or negative.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzic__j2o8M
 
Upvote 0
I think that the shots are framed well and in focus. And you seem to have a solid concept and good enough actors. I can't say much about this short film, it's not the kind of humor I "get". But I can tell you that every time the kid screamed, the audio peaked. And when characters were talking, it was too soft. You need to check your levels when shooting, and sweeten the audio in post.
 
You need to learn more about filmmaking in general, but I'd say focus on making something funny. This was totally devoid of wit, jokes, or anything that comedy utilizes to make an audience laugh. I'm not trying to be hurtful, but I felt it needed said
 
I don't mind scatological humor.... Fat Bastard from Austin Powers completely embodies the trope and he's hilarious.... social commentary shows like South Park often use farts and poop as comedic devices.

There just has to be something funny about it... Weird voices are not enough. Kids playing parents is not a joke.
 
It reminded me of some Adam Sandler movie and its not my thing.
In your video though the first thing I noticed was the orangy lighting...and when you screamed it really hurt the mic.

But I agree about the actors and that you can make a movie in just over a minuet so kudos for doing that. This is isn't my sort of comedy...but that's good...everyone is different.
 
I think this needs some work. The shots are actually ok, if not a bit unimaginative and static, and I found myself kinda liking the 'dad' with his odd, straightfaced attitude. I feel this would work better if the 'kid' was a full-grown adult and dropped the stupid voice.

The main thing that needs working on here is dialogue. There's alot that needs to be stripped away. If it doesn't add anything and isn't particularly funny, get rid of it.
 
I agree with the others, in that it didn't really seem like there was much of a joke - it's just a sort of funny situation. No setup or payoff though.

Form a technical standpoint the camera angles are all off. The fathers POV is correct for his actual height, and looking up at the 'kid' on the toilet - but he's looking up as if the father is taller. On the reverse shot (the kid's POV) the camera is at the appropriate height for the 'kid', but the father is looking down as if he were taller. You need to either reverse the tilt of the two camera angles (if you're trying to make the kid seem smaller and the father seem taller) or else reverse the two eyelines (if you want their relative heights to match reality).
 
Thank you everyone for all the feedback. As an aspiring filmmaker, it's really nice to be able to go to someplace where I can get critique.

For the past year, all of my films have really just been experiments as I try and figure out what a broad audience likes and then attempt to create it in my film (whether it be comedy, action, drama, thriller etc.). This short film in particular I tried experimenting with how short I could make a comedy while still making it long enough to enjoy and also the irony of a grown up being the kid and the kid being the grown up.

Although I have received some comments from people elsewhere stating they thought it was funny, I have received more saying that it isn't. From reading what you guys have said I see why it might not be all that funny, even it being more so annoying/stupid. I'll admit my humor can be like that sometimes but with my past comedies, I have always tried to mix the stupid with the intelligent humor, which I feel I failed to do all that well with this one.

The sound issues and eyelines of the actors I also realize I didn't do very well. Partly because I had a shortage of crew that day and had to do the sound as well as act and direct...which obviously didn't work that well. Thanks again for your comments and taking the time to make them! Some of my other stuff work has been much better received, check it out!http://www.youtube.com/user/MicahsSprouts
 
Can you give an example of the dialogue you felt needed to go/be changed?
sonickinetic said:
I think this needs some work. The shots are actually ok, if not a bit unimaginative and static, and I found myself kinda liking the 'dad' with his odd, straightfaced attitude. I feel this would work better if the 'kid' was a full-grown adult and dropped the stupid voice.

The main thing that needs working on here is dialogue. There's alot that needs to be stripped away. If it doesn't add anything and isn't particularly funny, get rid of it.
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