archived-videos "9/11" Short Film. Feedback

N

Nicwillu

Hi, me and my friend made a short film in honour of the fallen ones 9/11.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUluw39Dbpo

In my opinion, the music that is playing around the time when the actor is drinking water, is a bit to dramatic, but other than that I think it came out pretty well.

I would be glad if you could give some feedback! Thanks
 
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I’d say the entire score is to over-the-top dramatic.

Your framing is distracting. It look like you shot 4:3 and masked
it to widescreen. I’ve done that often so I have no issue with it,
but you need to shoot with the final framing in mind. If this
isn’t the case and you shot it this way intentionally then the
framing is still distracting.

If you didn’t tell me upfront that this was in honor of the 9/11
fallen ones I would never get that from your movie. I see no
connection to that attack on America in your film. Your intent is
excellent - your execution not so much.

I, too, think it came out pretty well.
 
He 's using the 9/11 event to get views.

Someone has been listening during his marketing classes.

directorik kindda said it all. I would add that even if the framing was good, nothing happens on it. A guyw is walking in the forest. He drinks water. He keeps walking. He meets another guy dressed with black with a piece of cloth over his mouth who point a gun at him, and he gives him water then helps him raise. WTF.
 
I totally agree with all of you. The plan was actually just to make a regular action scene, but decided to do something else.

I don't think it came out like, really really good. We had no manus, pure improvisation, we didn't really have any thoughts on how we were gonna do this. So.. yep.
Thanks for the advices...
 
Well, your idea is not bad so don't give up on it. But take the time to think about what will you shoot and how it helps delivering the message.
 
I think you did fairly well for just improv and going out and shooting for fun. Story aside, not bad on the sound effects and music integration. I totally understand how it can be hard to think up a story when you're on the spot and have nothing else to shoot and just want to shoot something for fun.

Next time just tell more of a story and you'll be sitting pretty good.
 
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Hey good effort.

I agree with Rik. If you didn't tell me what the film was about, I wouldn't know it. So that is an inherent weakness in the script.
Second, maybe you can show a little more of the footage where they are both aware of each other's presence and reacting to it. That could help keep the tension alive and not rely solely upon the music. Just a thought :)

Best,
aveek
 
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