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critique 5 page Script

My biggest concern is implying that an animal died. You'll understand more once you read it. The animal dying would be off screen, at least that's how I envisioned it.
 

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:huh: Whoever told you that mustn't ever have worked in movie-making - nothing is unfilmable! Sure, certain scenes might require the use of animatronics, or heaps of special effects and makeup, or the services of a professional wrangler (and supervision by your friendly neighbourhood animal rights association) ... but your scene doesn't need any of that to be filmable, seeing as we don't see anything happen to the squirrel.

Whether it has a place in the script or not is a different question, and in that context for me, yes: it's central to what you've written.
 
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