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A screenplay is a blueprint for what will be filmed - and anything that can't actually be filmed is out of place. Physical appearance is OK, but only if it is relevant to the story. If a character is ground down by years of work, or is zippy and fastidious, then their speech and actions should...

You're more than welcome. Wait till the real pros like FantasySciFi come along. That's when the real good advice will arrive :)

Well, I just flicked back to the script and the first thing I saw was "She begins to laugh. But Carter still have a blank expression on." 'Have' should be 'has'. It's not a massive issue if you're planning to make the film yourself, but if you want other people to walk along the path of your...

Hmm... not bad but it could definitely be improved. The boring stuff first: there are a number of typos and things which make it harder to read. Also, when you have a long action block, it makes sense to break it down into smaller paragraph subactions - again, if you're asking for feedback...

Good luck with it. Whatever kind of writing you do though, remember: writing is rewriting.

Here's a simple solution: the last time the boys crossed Albert they found their Facebook profiles full of gay porn the next day, with the promise that the next time would be even worse. Still lots of missing words. And it's a little concerning that you're fed up of your characters after three...

Definitely an improvement, but it would be so much more readable if you went through it a few more times filling in all the missing words. It's like reading a telegram at times. The structure is better, but it still seems to be lacking a climax. I don't buy that the janitor would smash the...

It's better, but it's still too wordy, and still full of proofing errors (missed words etc). It still seems to be taking place in a fantasy world where minor administrative buildings are guarded like prisons, but are nevertheless left completely unlocked - as are the offices within. And why do...

I should add overall that season five was probably my favourite since the first season, and the best since Eddard lost his headdard for character and story development (except Dorne which was rubbish) - but the showrunners have now become so wedded to various gimmicks that they keep going back...

You make fair points, but this is not what I was arguing - more that the expected reaction to this kind of gimmick would automatically be muted because of who the character is, and that's why D&D believe they can get away with it. As a general rule, though, I despise the get-out-of-jail card of...

Bringing back a main character is a big deal though, and hasn't happened up till now. I loved the latest season, but it frequently became self-consciously gimmicky in style, and for me this would be a gimmick too far, and would potentially have the waterskiier heading out into shark-infested...

It would be a really miserable day for GoT if that actually happens, but I think it will. Personally, I think the producers and actors should just shut up about the show - let it stand and fuel speculation on its own merits, as that's most of the fun. The recognition of writers and showrunners...

Disagree with your disagreement by agreeing :) As I mentioned, when punctuation is needed, it's needed in any literary form - whether that's prose, poetry, screenwriting etc. However, the difference with poetry is that only the poet gets to decide what's needed. There is a lot of punctuation...

I have no idea who Simon Barrett is, but I think the obsession with rules is a red herring. The purpose of a spec screenplay is to tell a good story coherently, readably and efficiently. The 'rules' can help with these objectives (especially for new writers), but they are not the only way to...

Holmes-like, I looked at the location under your username ;)

Purely out of nosiness, what show are you speccing? And good luck in the contest :)

No, quite the opposite - as London is there, the SE is generally where most of the wealth and power and privilege in the country reside. It's a tough part of the world to be poor though. I was actually born there, but could never afford to live there now. Anyway, this is an unnecessary...

Southeast England. Even in England it's like another country.

eBay. Surely you don't need us to tell you that?

I really hope you introduce yourself like this at parties, email address and all :)