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Quick question. Have you secured the rights from McCormick or his publisher to adapt the stories to screen? You don't want to start down this road and then be blindsided by a copyright infringement order. I would be sure I have the permission before starting on the script. I don't mean to...

I wasn't referring to the appearance of objects but the actions and dialogues in the story need to make all of your viewers draw an immediate comparison to NBK. You can't have half your audience thinking, "Oh, this resembles 'The Wire' and half thinking it's like NBK. NBK is pointless...

That's fine but writing is a balancing act. You don't want to be too Spartan in your description either. Part of capturing a reader's interest is some minimal description. You want visually to be able to separate your characters. As a general practice, I give more attention to my lead...

The story's setting should be self-evident to the viewer. The setting comes from the story. So if it's not clear, then it's the story's fault. You don't tell the reader, you layout the world believably for the viewer. If you want to go the NBK route, then it needs to read that way visually...

That's a fair question. As Maz stated, most of what is in a screenplay is what we can see. The screenplay is a blueprint. So what do I need to know as an actor, director and producer? With a character, I need to know what they look like for casting purposes: age and appearance. That can...

Welcome to IndieTalk's Screenwriting forum. I'm sure you'll get several offers to write. This forum is typically populated by writers, so we don't typically "refer out". ;) There are a variety of writers on this forum--writer/directors, award-winning screenwriters, writing...

It felt rather predictable. The action statements were too novelistic. They need to be tighter and split into shots. The dialogue seemed to wander a bit, repeating itself. It could be tighter. That's why you feel that drag in the beginning. The story itself isn't bad but was predictable...

The anti-hero's journey (AHJ) parallels the hero's journey except the "hero" makes bad choices that ultimately lead to his destruction or loss without redemption. The shift from Anakin to Vader or the shift of Michael Corleone from service man to mafia don are examples. The events are often...

The formatting is really distracting. You can remove all the capitalized names after their first mention. The transitions are also not really needed. The use of I/E. is incorrect. Also, try to limit time descriptions to what is relevant--DAY or NIGHT. The action/description statements are...

It depends on whether you want to irritate your audience. What works in a short story doesn't always translate well to screen. Short films still should tell a story. Use your three act structure. There are lots of references. I didn't clearly get a picture that they were related. Just a...

This isn't a story but more like a series of events. It has interesting potential but is incomplete. Overall, it doesn't feel very believable. You need to go back and develop more of your characters and backstory. How does Joe know David and why doesn't he report him for the reward? Why...

That's what you need to be telling us up front. Without guidance, anything is possible. As a planning document, the casting director needs some idea what to look for. Keep dialogue succinct and relevant. What I tried to do is give each character a different voice. One way to do that is...

Hi Mark, welcome to the forum. Writing a film script is different from writing a short story. And while similar to a play in some ways, the focus is more on visuals and action than dialogue. And unfortunately, spelling and grammar are also important. A script is a blueprint for the film...

Personally, this scene seems pretty underwhelming. I'd cut it as it doesn't support your goal. How is rushing out conveying his love or demonstrate a difficulty with this PTSD? To me it reads he had a bad dream, woke up late and needs to rush out the door. it could be blood pressure meds for...

Well, you could scroll through the roster of the Writers Guild and exclude those who also directed their own scripts. People are hired for television writing pools, script editors, readers, etc. all the time. You don't always see their names on blockbusters, if at all. Even 'reality tv' has...

Well, in fairness, Tarantino's writing style is dialogue heavy which affects the pacing. Let's be realistic, 15 minutes of mundane dialogue at the diner? Really? But he has a good sense of action and story. Again, people confuse the Director Tarantino with the Writer Tarantino. You can...

@Richy You're welcome :) @TrueIndie, MadHatter & Maz, I agree 100%, "rules" should not cramp creativity. They are simply ways to help people learn. It's important to realize that it's not a spec script but a shooting script. Most "rules" are meant to help a script get into a producer's...

The issue is whether you are "inside" or "outside" of the system. When you work inside for a television or production studio, you are often working closely with the production staff. You're getting notes. It's a middle ground between being an independent spec writer and a writer/director...

On-the-nose dialogue is when your character states exactly what they're feeling rather than showing it. One common way is describing what the audience has already seen, heard or knows. In your script, Robert re-tells everything to Kevin. It's not necessary. Sure, Kevin doesn't know the...

Let me be particularly clear, there is never a reason for an improperly formatted script. My comment (NOT advice) echoes what many here have pointed out. If you are directing your own film, you have the freedom to write your script in crayon if you so choose. But as I have argued and Sweetie...