archived-videos "Five Stories" (short, silent film) (critique please)

fallofautumn

fallofautumn

I finished my first short film yesterday, "Five Stories." I had made a photo doc previously, but it was just for experimentation.

As I'm new to all this, I'm looking for some constructive feedback or critisisms about the piece. I know some contrast work still has to be done, and I'll be eventually taking care of that before it gets added to a collection going to DVD.

You can view the film here.

And you can read more about it (inc. story synopsis and technical aspects) here.

I was the writer, director, fx compositor, CGI modeller, etc, etc for this one. :cool:

(PS It sounds and looks much cooler when not compressed to the size of a pinhead, but I doubt anyone wants to DL hi-res video.)
 
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I like the story, and the presentation was cool. The visual noise was a little much for my taste. I get the idea of the old film look, but it was a little too much, in my opinion. After a while, it became distracting. Otherwise, I think it was very good.
 
Thanks oakstreet for watching and commenting. =) One of my film school friends asked if I minded that the visual noise loop was so noticable, but I told her that, like the slow mo flames later on, I think it's more 'stylized' than photorealistic, referring both to the flames and the visual noise.

Hopefully it will be less distracting once all the shots are properly contrasted. I noticed it's really hard to make out the opening shot of the CGI house/door.

Thanks again.
 
Link updated. I switched it over to MySpace because the mono collapse (on iFilms) took out half of the soundtrack and the compression is better on MySpace.
 
I agree with oakstreet.. I liked the story, it reminds me somewhat of Poe. The look overall was nice, a good old-timey feel, but I too felt the camera scratches/dust/etc effects were too much..

Also, the last shot didn't feel like an attic to me... I was under the impression it was supposed to, but it just seemed like a sitting room or something. I'd picture the attic as dirty, musty, boxes and whatnot scattered around with a small window, rather than a clean room with a rocking chair and a window with nice billowy curtains. That's just my opinion though I guess..

Overall I liked it, aside from the aforementioned "old-film-look" being overdone.
 
Thanks Will, the response everywhere has been pretty positive for my first piece. That really makes me want to dig into the next project, which looks to be shaping up as a short documentary on the printing press and printing techniques. Interviews are in progress now. =)

Thanks to everyone who's watched, even if you haven't commented, I appreciate you taking the time.
 
fallofautumn said:
I finished my first short film yesterday, "Five Stories." I had made a photo doc previously, but it was just for experimentation.

As I'm new to all this, I'm looking for some constructive feedback or critisisms about the piece. I know some contrast work still has to be done, and I'll be eventually taking care of that before it gets added to a collection going to DVD.

You can view the film here.

And you can read more about it (inc. story synopsis and technical aspects) here.

I was the writer, director, fx compositor, CGI modeller, etc, etc for this one. :cool:

(PS It sounds and looks much cooler when not compressed to the size of a pinhead, but I doubt anyone wants to DL hi-res video.)
Click to expand...

Gotta agree with the above two critiques although I really liked the short. Wow, maybe just a "little less" of the noise and distraction of the old movie elements... More like just a tweak.

I also felt like you might have stayed on the title cards just a hair too long as well... It just seems that with a fire going on, it should move a few hairs faster.

Just some thoughts... Like I said, overall, I like it. Very stylistic. Very original. Like nothing I've seen before. Good job!

filmy
 
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