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screenplay Rich and Poor: ist Armut Genetik? (German Screenplay)

Titel:

Rich and Poor



Tagline:

Die Glücksritter trifft auf 8 Mile mit einer feurigen Brise Fack Ju Göthe.


Beschreibung:

8 Leben werden komplett auf den Kopf gestellt, als eine Reality-Show ein waghalsiges Sozialexperiment wagt. Vier sozial-benachteiligte Kandidaten schlüpfen für eine Woche in die Schuhe ihrer elitären Sparringspartner. Das Paar, das sich am Ende der Woche am stärksten positiv beeinflusst hat, gewinnt den Jackpot mit sage und schreibe zwei Millionen Euro. Alles, um eine Hypothese auf den Zahn zu fühlen: Sind wir zur Armut geboren?


Verwendete Software/Materialien:


Script


Download:


z.B. Kurze Kostprobe. Achtung Spicy. (5 MB, MP3)

****** BITTE FEEDBACK & LOVE ******
 
Entschuldigung - ich kann Deutsch nicht gut genug lesen, um den Originaltext zu verstehen ... and I'm not convinced Google translate is entirely faithful to the original.

The concept is interesting, but in the first couple of pages I see some of the weaknesses pointed out several times in other scripts, most notably these two very abstract descriptions:
WILLIAM SHANK mit einem
Grinsen so falsch wie eine Blüte und CANDY MILLER, so
künstlich wie Siri und so motiviert wie ein Trapbeat.

In my world (which includes Germany!) flowers are not fake :huh: and how can you describe motivation in terms of a musical tempo? :huh: In any case, as has been said before, when it comes to describing your characters, you need to be very concise and explicit, and to avoid comparisons with ideas or concepts that may be completely unknown to the reader.

If you had an accurate translation of the script, I would read through to the end; otherwise I'll have to see if I can manage it better next month when I'm parked on the banks of the Rhine! :hi:
 
Entschuldigung - ich kann Deutsch nicht gut genug lesen, um den Originaltext zu verstehen ... and I'm not convinced Google translate is entirely faithful to the original.

The concept is interesting, but in the first couple of pages I see some of the weaknesses pointed out several times in other scripts, most notably these two very abstract descriptions:


In my world (which includes Germany!) flowers are not fake :huh: and how can you describe motivation in terms of a musical tempo? :huh: In any case, as has been said before, when it comes to describing your characters, you need to be very concise and explicit, and to avoid comparisons with ideas or concepts that may be completely unknown to the reader.

If you had an accurate translation of the script, I would read through to the end; otherwise I'll have to see if I can manage it better next month when I'm parked on the banks of the Rhine! :hi:


Hi there,

thank you so much for taking the time and your feedback. Much appreciated.

You seem to face the same challenges in German that I do when it comes to English scripts/proverbs. "Blüte" is also a synonym for fake money and with that of the concept fake, betrayal etc.

Siri is an international known digital service and trap a world know music genre especially in this genre of film. But I understand where you're coming from.

Given the fact that I saw this kind of "abstract" comparison in already published films, I am positive that this is not a factor that will reduce my chances of a successful script/film. However I'll keep your valued advise definitely in mind, but...

Will I take care of describing characters more concisely in the future?

Depending on the relevance of it. In many of my favorite movie scripts (e.g. Parasite) most oft the characters are not described at all, because their physical attributes are irrelevant to their actions. So per se I think it's only important when a specific type is necessary for the plot or like I do it to spice things up for my entertainment. This is my personal note to my scripts. My fingerprint, if you wish so, my friend.


Thank you my friend, Liebe Grüße & I hope you find a nice spot :hi:
 
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