archived-videos "Leigh-Anne" Critique My Short Documentary

Sucramdoow

Sucramdoow

Hey all,

I was wondering if you could critique my FMP I did for college.

http://vimeo.com/23663860

It's about my sister who passed away many years ago. The only drawback for me is the runtime. I was told it HAD to be four minutes. I had plenty of footage, but I ultimately decided on this. Over the summer I'm thinking of doing a 'directors cut'.

Enjoy.

Thanks. :)
 
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That must've been really difficult, yet equally rewarding to make a documentary about your sister. I can see that your passion was poured into it. However, we do have one major problem.

If you were limited to one succinct, specific sentence, to describe to me what this movie is about, how would you phrase it? To say that it's about your sister is much too vague. What are you saying with this video? Be specific. As is, I'm afraid it lacks focus.
 
Cracker Funk said:
That must've been really difficult, yet equally rewarding to make a documentary about your sister. I can see that your passion was poured into it. However, we do have one major problem.

If you were limited to one succinct, specific sentence, to describe to me what this movie is about, how would you phrase it? To say that it's about your sister is much too vague. What are you saying with this video? Be specific. As is, I'm afraid it lacks focus.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the feedback.

The video would have to be about an insight into a little girl who suffered from many illnesses told by the mother of that child.

Could you expand on your criticism? Especially the 'lacks focus' part.

I have many reasons why it could not be better than it should be. And I am intending on expanding, or even improving on the video in the future. But that should not be an excuse.
 
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