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- Thread starter Sweeney Jet
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It was going along okay, until the guy started talking on the phone. Bad exposition, not very believable performance. But, how could you blame the guy when it's a tired old amnesia thing?
If you're going to go there, you need to twist the hell out of it before I click somewhere else.
If you're going to go there, you need to twist the hell out of it before I click somewhere else.
I see plenty of hard work, good camera work, music & score well done, decent acting overall, interesting story once you get it, GREAT visuals, very symbolic and surreal style which I love, you are good at a surreal presentation
Overall a little slow, hard to follow, needs a quicker pace, maybe some additional camera movements, sound needed help ( wait till you hear mine !! I need help there too ) , little heavy on color adjustments in areas, needed some punch visually & sound wise.
Im being brutally honest here a 5 out of 10 w/ 10 being ready for Big time. It is hard doing low-budget, Im with you on that train. You are certainly doing some good work and are on the right track. Keep improving !
Im working on a surreal short myself and Im striving to get a 7 out of 10, but Im afraid I'll get a 3 out of 10. I have maybe another month or so to finish the project
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Overall a little slow, hard to follow, needs a quicker pace, maybe some additional camera movements, sound needed help ( wait till you hear mine !! I need help there too ) , little heavy on color adjustments in areas, needed some punch visually & sound wise.
Im being brutally honest here a 5 out of 10 w/ 10 being ready for Big time. It is hard doing low-budget, Im with you on that train. You are certainly doing some good work and are on the right track. Keep improving !
Im working on a surreal short myself and Im striving to get a 7 out of 10, but Im afraid I'll get a 3 out of 10. I have maybe another month or so to finish the project
.
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Didn't wanna twist it too much. Just wanted to keep the message in tact. But I do agree. I was the guy on the phone. Haha. I knew I could've done better, but really I was rushed.
Thanks for your wise criticism. I appreciate it. I strive to be better, so thanks!
I'm sure if I had more time shooting things, I'd do better. I literally shot this in a day.
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I liked your visuals. What camera did you use? Congrats on a finished project and one of decent quality to boot.
My criticism would be the acting and line delivery. There were some decent lines but the delivery seemed a bit mechanical for me, as were the reactions to what was being said (especially in the car). The mechanical delivery may have impacted the acting/business/reactions, or it could have been vice versa but this was an issue for me. I thought there was a tad bit too much dialogue too and most of it was on the nose. I am no expert on surrealism but I would have let the visuals and audio shape the subtext of your story, which would have allowed you to scale back the dialogue - allowing the characters to be more succinct and more real/life like. No knock on your work as I liked it, just some healthy pointers to consider in future projects. these things can be fixed during the writing phase of your efforts.
Good effort.
My criticism would be the acting and line delivery. There were some decent lines but the delivery seemed a bit mechanical for me, as were the reactions to what was being said (especially in the car). The mechanical delivery may have impacted the acting/business/reactions, or it could have been vice versa but this was an issue for me. I thought there was a tad bit too much dialogue too and most of it was on the nose. I am no expert on surrealism but I would have let the visuals and audio shape the subtext of your story, which would have allowed you to scale back the dialogue - allowing the characters to be more succinct and more real/life like. No knock on your work as I liked it, just some healthy pointers to consider in future projects. these things can be fixed during the writing phase of your efforts.
Good effort.
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The HV40.
I actually wholeheartedly agree with you. I wrote the movie just so I could have something to shoot, because I just love doing it. But next time when I write a short and direct my actors, I'll put what you said into use.
And I'm glad you like it. That's very cool.
And if you want, you should become a fan on Facebook!
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/D-I-S-C-O-N-N-E-C-T-E-D/123178721085150?v=wall
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/D-I-S-C-O-N-N-E-C-T-E-D/123178721085150?v=wall