archived-videos World View - Short Drama

T

tommygdawg

Hey all,



I'm new here and was just hoping I get some crits on a short film I did a little while ago. I'm planning on doing another one soon, so any comments would be extremely helpful. Thanks!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CrF5qrVMGI

Ben and Joseph, two colleagues, meet to discuss their mutually involved careers. However, all is not as it seems.

World View was shot in mid June on the Panasonic GH13 (the GH1 with hacked firmware). After about a month of work in post production, World View was completed.
 
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it worked for me.

very well done, i can say i honestly enjoyed it. Looked good, as far as camera bs.

but i was impressed by the fact there was actually some sort of dynamic there, it was dramatic. the music helped.

I like how a lot of the dialogue seems vague to the audience, it leaves us to our imagination! which i tend to appreciate.

The things i would focus on for your next project is dialogue and acting. the direction needs work but really wasnt to bad.

bravo!
 
Hey,

For the most part, it has a really nice look. Problem is, you made a stage-play. 4 minutes of 2 dudes sitting down talking? Seriously? That's a lot of talking. 4 minutes of dialogue can work in a feature, but if it's 80% of your short, that's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much. Have your actors get up and do something. We wanna see people doing stuff, not sitting down talking.

Plus, there's the question of why we're making shorts. You're not gonna sell it, so that's out of the question. Winning awards at local festivals is fun, but I don't think we're really in this to just pad our own egos. In my opinion, the main point behind making shorts is to learn from the process, and grow as a filmmaker.

In that respect, 2 dudes sitting down talking really doesn't help you develop your skills as a filmmaker. I mean, that's just about the easiest, most straight-forward scene to shoot. Challenge yourself. Give us five minutes of people doing something, and you'll find that you'll probably make many mistakes along the way, and learn from them.

All that being said, to end on a positive note, I do think the writing was nice, a tad expository, but not annoyingly so, and the actors were pretty nice.
 
ROC, I'd love to hear comments on the sound. Also there's a huge community thing going on right now surrounding the GH1 and guy named Vitaliy. He hacked the firmware to allow really high bitrates for fine detail.

Also, Cracker Funk, thanks for the comments. It's really meant to be more about the story, though. Adding action to this story wouldn't have really worked at all. Also there's a big part of me working on my film making skills given that the entire film is a big visual effect. The city was all composited in, though if you couldn't tell I'm surprised, I wasn't that confident in my visfx ability :P

Anyhow, thanks for the constructive comments all :)
 
No, I couldn't tell that it was composited in. It looks nice. When I say "action", I don't mean punching and kicking. I mean anything other than sitting and talking, and your action should be used to tell the story. I think you missed my point when I told you you made a stage-play. Filmmaking is a visual medium. Nobody wants to watch a movie that is 80% talk.
 
No I understand what you mean. It's just that honestly for my first actual film I wanted to do something simple like this. I agree that it may be a bit of a bore in that area, but it was intentional. Glad you liked the compositing...perhaps I'm just hard on myself because I'm the one who did it :P
 
Thanks, Murdock! Glad you liked it. I agree about the overacting, it's the most common piece of criticism I get. So, it's something I can work on with my directing for the next piece. :)
 
I liked it. Very good compositing work too - adds to the production value but is completely unobtrusive.

It's nice to see something a bit more talky than a lot of short films, but I'd agree with some of Cracker's comments - I don't think there's anything wrong with the whole thing being a conversation, but it does feel a bit like a stage play, mainly with regards to the acting.

I read a really neat little phrase the other day that I thought was quite relevant here - "when the cast sits down, so does the action". Actors pace up in down in the theatre not only because it's more visually interesting but because it makes it more dramatic. While pacing up and down might not suit this very well, I think a bit of camera movement could liven it up.

Overall though, that was a really solid piece with decent sound and nice visuals.
 
Thanks Chilipie! Good points and very constructive. I do agree totally about the acting, that seems to be the comment that I get the most. Glad you liked it though :) One of my favorite TV shows is Fringe, and I was noticing that I particularly like the cinematography on it. Every time they have some kind of conversation or slow moment, they kind of grab the camera and just slowly move it around. It's almost subconscious if you're not looking for it, but it really helps give the shots interest. Anyhow, thanks again for the comments!
 
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