editing Input and Suggestions ...

the intro text left me having to read it quite a few times... some rewording and stuff would be nice.

like :

Delta four reaches the event horizon.

They enter the singularity and find a technical universe.

One where humans have let loose artificial intelligence to change their world.

(an event horizon is usually around a black hole, and a singularity is a black hole, so what you are saying is they enter a parallel universe right?)

the wording just doesn't make sense to me otherwise, and i'm a tech geek...


the text is wayyyyyyyyyy too fast... don't even have time to read it.

suddenly going from high tech, to gods, and back again...

they survived the human race... might be better to say, They survived the human extinction or something like that.

speaker should hold a few more breaks, i had trouble hearing the names of the 3 cyborgs... and alot of the later stuff.

uhh nerf weapons.. paint them more. i see yellow.


but it's looking good... can't wait to see your final cut...
 
Actually, a technical singularity is a point in history known as an event horizon when humans are no longer in control in the creation of technology.

Thus far in history, technology has come from human minds.

The day is coming when it will be in the hands of AI that surpasses human intelligence and it will develop faster than anything we have seen in the history of our world in the hands of the AI (artificial intelligence) That will be an event horizon in our history.

As Dr. Kaku has pointed out, during that period, there will be a feeling of species threat between humans and machines. Two noted experts believe that time may be as soon as the year 2020.

This is what the public already knows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW8rgKLPHMg

I heard from a good source, thinking machines exists behind closed doors.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Bxzb1ICsG0

With brain capacity like this, AI will be used in more applications than just robots. They will be advanced problem solvers.
 
How about,

With the invention of greater than human AI, humans no longer shape technology. Now, their advanced AI reshapes technology greater and faster than ever in the history of their world.

A defining point in this history is with the creation of an AI robotic military spaceship built for a crew of Special Forces Cyborg Soldiers with accommodations for human guests. The promise of Special Forces Cyborgs is an end to the loss of life with human soldiers.
 
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How about,

With the invention of greater than human AI, humans no longer shape technology. Now, their advanced AI reshapes technology greater and faster than in the history of their world.

That point in their history is defined with the creation of an AI robotic military ship built for a crew of Special Forces Cyborg Soldiers with accommodations for human guests. The promise of Special Forces Cyborgs is an end to the loss of life by human soldiers.

sounds alot better.. should enable most viewers to undertand what's going on...
 
oh i know... but the interesting thing about that, is that standard computers combined with man, outhinks super computers and super people...

In today's world ....yes.

In just eight years, that can change.

I am shortening text to focus on the promise of The Singularity, which has major benefits both for the military and deep space exploration.

I visited NASA a few years ago and got a great education from an astronaut on the benefits of robots in space exploration. The limiting factor is their dependency on human input. So, they cannot stray as far away from home as we would like to tell us more about our own galaxy.

Having an AI robot that can make its own decisions when the unexpected happens will greatly enhance space exploration outside our solar system.

Having AI machines made in human image with human vanity factored in to represent humans to nonhuman species out in our galaxy for trips that may take thousands of years where the artificial life forms are immune to radiation lethal to humans and prolonged changes in gravity makes machines better astronauts.
 
have you seen the discovery show, about thinking robots exploring distant worlds for us?

if not i'll find you a link.. it's awesome, and shows how it would work...

but yeah, things can change faster than we think.. we are on the threshold for ultra rapid advancement... we have a chance of being the first generation that can actually extend our life long enough for us to discover how to live forever... and as you said, computers are going to revolutionize more and more...

i for one, can't wait...

also, i have been wanting to make a movie for awhile, that shows all we can actually do today... like grow organs, and other things... so people actually can see what is possible right now...
 
I already have engineers agreeing with me that for the sake of other species that may look totally nonhuman, vanity cyborgs and androids will be in robotic ships in the future for other species to know what we look like and sound like with a knkwledge of all human languages to teach other species about us.
 
have you seen the discovery show, about thinking robots exploring distant worlds for us?

if not i'll find you a link.. it's awesome, and shows how it would work...

but yeah, things can change faster than we think.. we are on the threshold for ultra rapid advancement... we have a chance of being the first generation that can actually extend our life long enough for us to discover how to live forever... and as you said, computers are going to revolutionize more and more...

i for one, can't wait...

also, i have been wanting to make a movie for awhile, that shows all we can actually do today... like grow organs, and other things... so people actually can see what is possible right now...

The only time I get to see cable TV is at a friend's house. And, that's not very often anymore.

I learn a lot from searches on YouTube and Google. I'm also on forums with science fiction writers and engineers. I studied Electrical Engineering and Electrical Engineering Technology in college as well as Architecture. So, I can communicate with them.

I met engineers on my day job who used to work on AI for the military as well.

As a matter of fact, when I went to NASA, one of the engineers from my company went with me for an award trip we won. That trip was a dream come true.

Sorry about the long delay in response, I've been working ob revisions for the 5 minute preview. When the computer renders, I try to make that the only task the computer does because it has crashed in the past trying to render video, while doing too many other things. I think the newer version I am uploading to YouTube this time is better than what is on vimeo right now.

There is not enough good sci-fi on TV with spaceships, robots, and The Singularity. I have my fingers crossed I will find people in the right place at the right time to make this a cable TV series. I also have a story bible put together for the first season.
 
one at least, the "here, artemis created humans"

maybe use, Here, on this planet, called earth, artemis created the human race"
unless it's on another planet, in that case, use that planet's name.

Cuz i'm not sure wether that is earth that is shown or any other planet where they later meet artemis...
 
The phrase is.

Here,
Artemis created The Universe

So, that covers everything.

Even when Colonel Azzurra asks her, "Great Artemis, where have you been for so long?"

Her reply is,

"I've been creating new life around the Universe."

Thus, she also created Humans.

And, she put the spark of life into the cyborgs to make it possible for the Humans to create the Cyborgs.
 
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