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How is this script for a short film project?

H

harmonica44

Basically for a short film project, I thought I would shoot and direct just one scene from a larger script, as practice. But how is the scene on it's own, for practice to attract others to want to make as well?


INT. PUB -- DAY

Sheila plays pool with two of the gang members. A WAITRESS comes
over with a tray of drinks, as she hits a ball in the pocket.
But they remain serious while playing.

WAITRESS
Here you go, hon.
She tries to hand a drink to Sheila. She doesn't accept.

SHEILA
I didn't order anything.

WAITRESS
It's just soda. It's from the
genetlemen over there.

The waitress points out Guy, across the room. Sheila sees
him comes over.

She turns away and heads for the bar, before Guy can speak --
He goes after her --

GUY
I just need to get your statement...Please.

Sheila signals to the bartender, but she is busy -- Sheila
walks away, to the exit. He walks ahead of her.

SHEILA
Let me guess... They sent you because
they think that since you rescued me
that I feel like talking to you more?

GUY
Something like that. Look, I know
you don't want to relive what
happened, but you seem to be taking
it better now. It would really help
if you come in and give a statement.

SHEILA
(interrupts)
What do you expect me to do, go on
being traumatized and depressed? I
have nothing to say to you. I told
you people already, I'm not
testifying.

She tries to walk around him but he blocks her.

GUY
Alright, look, if you don't give me
statement, we can subpoena you to
testify before a preliminary hearing.
So you might as well.

The two gang members observe in concern. Gang Member 1 comes
over to her.

GANG MEMBER 1
Why don't you leave her alone. Hasn't
she been through enough?
Guy ignores him and gestures for her to walk outside.

Sheila walks ahead of him, and he follows, unproud... The two gang members look at each other, concerned.



What do you think?
 
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Schedule a face to face production meeting once a week. You are probably badgering him with texts and will eventually scare him off, is my guess. Don't do that.
 
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I don't know the situation I was just guessing.

If you ask your department heads the best day for them to have a meeting, you should set one up once a week until production, and then you don't have to worry about unanswered emails or texts. You should make sure you know exactly what you want to go over with each meeting and let them know in advance.
 
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shortboy said:
I really want to see you shoot under 48-Hour Film Festivals standards. Get a genre, a line, and a characters, make the scipt, film, and edit it within 48 hours. Deadlines need to be met. Your lack of confidence and sternness to get everything correct the first time around, is what's holding you back.

Your reputation won't be ruined because you don't have any reputation to begin with other than the guy that asks too many questions and doesn't execute.
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I tried to explain him last year when there was a worldwide version, not tied to a city and with not just 48, but over 70 hours to make something, that that was an opportunity to get something made in a short time without having a script before you start.
It took him 3 weeks to click 'join' on a local facebook group.
He spent 4 weeks cooking up reasons to not even try.

H44 just won't make anything.
"I have no good script to get actors on board" -> for a 48 you recruit before you write a script.
"But in such a short time I have to compromise." -> Everybody has to. Exactly why you should do it.
"But it might hurt my reputation." -> Everyone knows 48s are hard to pull off perfectly.
"48 hour is too short to gather cast and crew" after I told him he still had 7 weeks to gather a cast and crew before the weekend starts.
"I'm focussing on my script now" -> script is still not finished AFAIK
"I can't find actors to shoot for 2 weeks" -> During a 48 you have to shoot in 1 day
"I don't think I can edit this fast" -> Get an editor who starts while you are still shooting.

"I can't think of ideas" -> Gets simple ideas thrown at him -> "I can't figure out an ending/ I can't think of a 3 act structure."

"Can't find actors" -> Gets suggestion to shoot stuff in his town -> Shoots random stuff, edits it randomly and wonders why it is not a story.


"Actors don't like a 2 page script" -> The scene was boring as hell, that is what they don't like it.
"They say 14 pages is too long" -> They might have a point here: it takes a lot of time to shoot it, and since H44 isn't even able to plan 1 day properly, I wouldn't count on a proper plan for 14 pages.

"I have trouble finding locations to shoot in, should I use 20 locations to solve this?"

And so on and so on.
Just excuses to not shoot anything.
 
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Yeah I should have joined that, I was pre-occupied at that time, helping someone else shoot their project, and it flew over my head. But I should have joined it and paid more devoted more attention to that, it was my fault. I tried doing the next 48 hour film competition but wasn't able to get enough people off of that facebook page to respond back to me in time to do it.

I will try to do the next one, if any come across my way, for sure.
 
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Flew over your head?
We had 4 weeks and several pages of discussions about it.
Preoccupation is putting it mildly.

Besides that when you gather a team, you let the team you have recruit people as well. In my 48 I only knew half of the team.
 
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Okay thanks. You're right I should have tried to do both, or approached things differently.

Basically for the second 48 Film challenge, I posted the add, but not enough people got back to me in time before it could have been planned out. But thanks, for letting know, about that. I will try do that for the next one.

So when it comes to shooting this next project of mine, I haven't been able to find a location that is quiet enough for dialogue yet, since homeowners still want to be in their homes, and make noises, and business owners, still want to have people in the offices and all that. Is there anything I can do better, or different when it comes to finding quiet locations to shoot in, where the owner will be okay with leaving?

I think strangers are probably kind of weary about a person they don't know shooting a movie in their location. I tried making business cards and acted like I was from a film production company to shoot the scenes, but that didn't seem to help much. Is there a different approach I could take?
 
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harmonica44 said:
I think strangers are probably kind of weary about a person they don't know shooting a movie in their location. I tried making business cards and acted like I was from a film production company to shoot the scenes, but that didn't seem to help much. Is there a different approach I could take?
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Their location? What's that have to do with it? By that logic, you can shoot out of town and they are not wary?

I can only offer one tidbit of advice here. When casting female characters hold the audition in a public space, and don't ask them to come to your abode. Even with the best intentions, these days, it looks fishy. You are in film school so this should not be an issue! Do pro auditions, have someone help you, signing people in, and an intern also, and snacks and water, and tape it.
 
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#1 It's not strange so don't think it's strange or you will never make this film. Another roadblock.
#2 You are a student, so let them know it is for school, and work with them on any restrictions/accommodations.
#3 Offer something in exchange, maybe their company logo in the end credits.
 
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I really want to see you shoot under 48-Hour Film Festivals standards.
Click to expand...
Title: Yes, but.
Genre: The eternal excuse
Required dialogue: "Yes, but"

I already gave the project to a DP who was on board for shooting it but the DP keeps taking a few days to get back to me, so when it comes to planning out the shots, cinematography and other preproduction duties with him, what approach can I use to get him to communicate with me faster rather than not having to wait more than 3 days at a time, for an email, phone call, or text to be returned, without coming across the wrong way to him?
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Easy answer: Next!

But that's me. I'm impatient like that.

Is two to three texts a week badgering and maybe that's too many?
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Then again, maybe you can only attract the wrong people to work with.

Started working with a new crew member. Meeting was 9 days ago. I think we've exchanged a few hundred SMSs, PMs and emails so far, not to mention about 3 hours on the phone.

Perhaps it's best to have a meeting scheduled at the same time once a week, so that everyone shows up.
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As crew, I've seen productions do this. Meeting for the sake of meetings. It ensures I don't want to work with them. Meetings are fine. Wasting peoples time for no reason isn't.

I tried to explain him last year when there was a worldwide version
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It's on again. Or maybe it's a competitor with a similar name. Entry fee is about $150.

He spent 4 weeks cooking up reasons to not even try.
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It takes time to cook up the right excuse. I know I hate half baked excuses.

since H44 isn't even able to plan 1 day properly, I wouldn't count on a proper plan for 14 pages.
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Maybe most don't want to volunteer their time when the chance to finish the shoot is near on zero. The chance to finish post is less. What happens when the reality of gaining footage worth adding to your reel is as close to zero as it gets. Would you get involved?

I made a post to Faceook late last week looking for volunteer actors. Over 40 actors and near on 10 crew volunteered. First shoot is at the end of the month. Now all we need is a script, location, props, wardrobe.... but we'll make it work.

Maybe the problem is with the operator. Does H44 have a lot of PEBCAKs and RTFMs scaring people away?

Do you have any tips on asking without coming off as strange though to people?
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OMG. Do you think I come across to others as normal? I'm about as strange as it gets. Why do you think that matters? Just don't be a creep. No one likes a creep.

From what I can tell what's holding others from joining you. You come across as a person who cannot get the job done. You're high maintenance which in itself isn't a real issue. I'm often considered high maintenance, rude, aggressive and politically incorrect. I'll piss people off at a drop of a hat. I also get shit done. I've never failed to complete a project and I've pulled many projects across the finish line that would have died a lonely death in the hands of their producers/filmmakers.

I don't see you as someone I'd consider following/join/working with. Too much work for too little payoff. Too many yes, buts. Too many excuses. Too many road blocks. Too much giving up. Not enough can do attitude. Way too much face palming.
 
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Alright then. What I could do is just give the project to another DP, if this one keeps taking a few days to get back to me on the pre-production matters. I could just send him email saying I will have to go with someone else. It's just he really wanted it and I really wanted to work with him since he seemed really interested in doing the project. But if I should drop him and get someone else, then I can, if that's best.
 
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Opinions are like assholes Everyone has one. Except I'm starting to think you don't. ;)

Stop relying on what others say. Be a director and direct!
 
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In last month's election in The Netherlands there was an H44 Party: they had no program, no other plans than doing a poll amongst the members every week.
They didn't get elected.

H44: how do you decide what to eat for dinner?
 
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