What do you think?

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NoahPatterson said:
Any tips for improvement? Also did you get bored watching?
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If it's intended to be several angles of a music box, then you succeeded smashingly. :)

It's difficult to critique something without knowing what you intended to convey.
Was it supposed to be boring? Is there a background to it?
Is there supposed to be a narrative? Or experimental?
 
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That was interesting! What camera/lenses are you using? My main compliment here would be the lighting, very dramatic and well placed. I liked the cutback to the wide shot of the music box, a stark contrast to the extreme closeups. you should try to build a story out from the motif of the music box. I noticed you titled it "Creep". Perhaps someone's long standing psychological damage stemming from childhood in which the music box was the only thing they had after the beatings, abuse, etc. Just a thought. looks good!
 
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NoahPatterson said:
Thanks! I appreciate the feedback this mostly was to work on angles. I'm going to add a story behind it but its definitely going to have a sad touch.
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The colors are interesting and the exposure is good.

As far as a short... as others have said, there's not much to critique. Nothing's in context.

As for your camerawork, there were some very shaky shots in there, which were distracting. Do you have a tripod with a good fluid head? For instance, toward the beginning your tilt up (:08) needs to be stabilized and smoothed out; the jerky nature of the tilt suggests a $30 photo tripod. And :25 is also very shaky, with the shallow DOF causing the focus to move in and out as the camera meanders.

In the final shot, why is the box moving? And when the lid drops, there's a terrible glare that should have been flagged off.
 
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NoahPatterson said:
Well this is kind of my first little film ... I'm 17 and am new to film making. Any tips for improvement? Also did you get bored watching?
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First of all, it's not really a film, it's more of a photography exercise. So the first tip for improvement is to learn to appreciate the difference between a film and a photography exercise. I did get bored watching, because although I am extremely interested in films, I only have a passing interest in photography.

Your visuals change angles and perspectives but the music does not. This sets-up a contradiction between the visuals and the sound, what were you trying to achieve with this contradiction?

NoahPatterson said:
I'm going to add a story behind it but its definitely going to have a sad touch.
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Essentially that's backwards as far as most filmmaking is concerned. Generally one would have a story first and then one would choose camera angles, lighting, perspectives, etc., to best tell that story. Basing your film on photography and then building your story and all the other crafts around that photography will rarely result in a watchable film, unless it's an experimental film and the photography is astonishing.

G
 
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