cinematography What could i improve on

[Mirman10]

Hey this is an new video of mine i have to say not my best work i was going for a more gritty meaningful piece anyways i was wondering if there was anything that looked wierd things i could improve and i do all my videos by myself so nobody else helps i do have a tripod thats a given i think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcrOTe43j6w

 

[notchrishuffman]

To be completely honest, I have no idea what you were going for.

 

[Mirman10]

you have to seen my older videos to understand what i was doing its me thinking about all the good memories at a bad moment in my life its pretty simple acually

 

[David.rhsc]

Well, I like some of the compositions and a some of the edits, but there are a few things I'd offer:

One thing I would consider is production design - meaning, all of the stuff that is in the scene, things on walls, etc. One of the most problematic things with indie work is that everyone is in their apartment with these plain bare white walls and ikea furniture. Try to think of ways to dress your sets more and it will go a long way.

Did you de-saturate in camera or in your editing software? Also, what camera are you using? I'm sort of old-school in that if I am going to de-saturate color I sometimes want filtration in front of the lens to increase contrast. If you were shooting a RAW format, I would not advise this, but my bet is that you're not. Either way, several of the shots are pretty flat, and when going to B/W you really have to pay extra attention to light to prevent everything from going flat and gray. Rendering shape with light/shadow is very important in B/W work because we don't have color cues to work with.

Also, I'm not sure the music suits the goal you had in mind (good memories during a bad moment), but I'm also not sure what change would help.