watch Vitality (Part One) - Please Critique

[JBRpro]

Hi, I posted some time ago a trailer for this movie, Vitality.

I finally have edited part one of it, and want to see what you think of it.

All criticisms are welcome, and in my own opinion I don't think it's very good at all.

Criticisms I have received before and agreed with are the use of teenage actors exclusively, and too strong of color correction (within the trailer, which I changed however I understand may still be a problem). Also, the story is fairly weak, cliche, and has many problems with it. The acting is something I cannot change simply because of my pool of actors at the time.

Just wanted to share, and I am still a very new filmmaker, so once again thanks for it all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfdwQuf-GVg

 

[LastSunsetFilms]

The acting wasn't that bad. It is beyond cliche though, i dunno how many of these I've seen, as soon as the first words came up on screen I just sighed. Some of the camera work and cuts were pretty sketchy, the colour correction was pretty bad, I really don't know what you were trying to do with it.

But, you have put a project together, it is a learning experience, nobody expects noobs like us to rattle out oscar winning shorts. I make short films as a way of learning, I try to learn from mistakes and improve each time, so as long as you are aware of the faults then you can improve.

I would re-edit the whole thing, you can at least improve some of the cuts and colour correction. A lot of the bad things are things that are things you can easily improve upon.

 

[JBRpro]

Thanks for the input lastsunsetfilms, i understand where you're coming from completely.

Previously, someone earlier told me that color correction should be used to set the mood of the film, and so i went with a greener look (it was originally a very blue raw footage due to weather and such), however i guess i missed the point. what should color correction be about then, and also on the cuts, apart from the shots themselves, how would it be better to cut certain moments? i am an extreme noob and once again thanks for the input.

also,

 

[Cracker Funk]

I think LastSunset makes some really good points, though his review is a tad harsh, in my opinion. This is good work, but it could definitely use some touching-up.

There have been a lot of zombie movies, but somehow people keep coming up with good ideas for new twists on the old genre. Please do not try to tell me that either "28 Days Later" or "Zombieland" are cliche. I don't think it's out-of-the-question that you might have a pretty cool movie on your hands; let it play itself out.

I agree that the color-correction is off-putting. Moreso than the coloring, it's really dark. I feel like you might've darkened it up in post, and the footage looks pretty dark to start with. We should be able to see the characters' eyes; it's too dark if we can't.

Also, when modern colorists add a tint to a movie, as I understand it, the process is quite a bit more complicated than simply adding a massive tint to the whole film. Modern software (like Colorista, which is awesome) allows them to add, for example, a blue tint to the background, while bringing out the flesh-tones in all of the people. When you just turn the whole thing green, in my opinion, it only makes it look amateurish; I personally think you'd be better off sticking with natural colors. Maybe you mute the colors a bit, since this is a zombie movie, by bringing down the saturation, and up the contrast a bit, but I personally wouldn't go too wild with the colors. That's just my $.02 and I'm no expert on the subject.

As for the edits, yeah, I noticed quite a few that were kind of wonky. Just bad continuity, where the action was continuous, but the action from one shot to the other didn't quite line up just right. Just one example -- 1:14 -- watch his arm. That's a pretty bad jump-cut. Audiences may not know that they notice, but in the back of their brains, they notice. Continuous-action cuts like these need to be spot-on perfect, or the audience will notice (sometimes you can get away with small incontinuities). I'm afraid I don't have the time to point out more examples -- you've got quite a few of them; play CLOSE attention to every single cut, and you'll find them.

I enjoyed watching this. I do think that you've got a lot of positives to build on. I think you did a good job building tension.

Did you film this in North Seattle? I didn't recognize any specific areas, but it looks like my old stomping-grounds. I'm gonna say it was either North Seattle, Shoreline area perhaps, or the exact opposite, maybe somewhere down by Kent?

 

[Gripss]

I dont exactly know what you filmed on but some of the shots were really dark, it may have been color correction, poor lighting, or incorrect exposure, but we should be able to see the faces of your actors. Also a little color correction goes along way, while you did create a very dark mood, the over saturation in the shots sticks out as un-natural. Also investing in a steady cam is a a very good idea, you dont want unintentional camera movements distracting the audience. Also music is good for building an atmosphere but if you were going for creepy or suspenseful you may consider layering in some ambient noises. Effectively used and placed ambients noises can not only create an atmosphere but also make your film in general more believable to the viewer. That being said i do like dubstep and you can totaly use it as your soundtrack but you may want to tone it down a notch

 

[Utopia]

I have a lot of notes on sound if you'd like them.

 

[JBRpro]

Thanks for the input guys, based on what I could do with my film present, I redid the color correction and such. As well as a few cuts were changed. The original got removed because of copyrights, but here is a new valid version of the movie. Please critique as much as you feel, I can take it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbr3QXq73x0