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watch videodiary - short film

lewis886

lewis886

videodiary - short film (fixed YT clip)

i shot this last fall. was shot in one evening with a few friends and other directors there. had the story worked out with the actress, but didn't have a script, so the actress had to improv the whole thing... we all discussed each entry before shooting it, and in-between takes... was a lot of fun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKPWQ4Ovlz0​
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKPWQ4Ovlz0
 
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So I just finished this piece. Very interesting. A found a lot of good and some things that you can work on for next time. Now this is just my opinion so take it for what it is worth.

First off, great acting. That girl totally sold it for me. For improving the whole thing she did an outstanding job. I am not sure where you found her but hang onto that talent. Which also says something about you. Nice directing. It isn't just the actors/actresses that make scenes work they need to be directed into an emotion and I felt she went through some emotions in that piece.

A few things to work on. Pacing was pretty slow at the beginning. If your gonna do a piece like this I would probably make the whole piece a lot shorter. Just because you need to show a long passage of time doesn't mean you need to have a long piece. Shorter diary inputs, more days, jump cuts. All these can add to the piece and still make it feel like a lot of time has passed.

Next I am going to address the set. I know it is about a girl and her camera but in order to hold the interest of the viewer I would have had a more complex background with lots of stylized lighting. The plain wall in the background along with the long entries made the whole piece kind of drag. Remember depth and lighting can add a lot to your shot. Which brings me to my last critique...

Lighting is everything. It can make and break you and with this piece there are a lot of ways you can go with the lighting. And always remember your basic three point system. I would have liked to see the back wall look like the sun was shining through a window. That could have given you her back edge and made the shot not look so flat. It also could have helped sell the night scene better. With a blue moon light hitting the back wall and giving her a nice blue edge. It would have really broken up the simpleness of the piece and made it look a little more higher end.

All in all not to bad of a piece. I hope the critique I gave here helps you not hurts. I also hope that some other people post because I am just one guy. Good luck with future projects.
 
thanks brooksy :)

glad you enjoyed it.
and don't worry... not "hurt" or whatever by your review... i'd rather have honest constructive critique anyway :)

yeah... now than i think about it... you're right about the lighting... my reasoning for it being the way it was was that i wanted it to feel like this was just a real girl who just grabbed her camcorder and started doing her video diary entries.. and she had no real regard for how it looked... but you're right... i could have done some more interesting things with the lighting, while still having it fall within the realm of real lighting that could have occurred in her room... like you mentioned, the sun on the wall... or the moonlight (or a streetlight) on the wall... something like that.... good ideas... thank you

yeah... i can see what you mean about it being a little slow in the beginning... a friend of mine saw the rough cut and he said i had better make sure to put some sort of credits in the beginning, or random people finding it on youtube might think it was really just someone's video diary and turn it off before the more interesting stuff at the end.... lol but i was happy with that... that's basically what i was going for... and actually... i had planned on it being shorter... my thoughts were that it would be about 4-6 entries... somewhere between 5-8 minutes... had i written a script it might have been... but as i said... i had a bunch of people over here... everyone throwing out ideas... and the film evolved as the night went on... we all talked about her life... and how gradual her digression is... and it ended up being more entries... and 10 minutes long.... i thought about doing jumpcuts, or something like that... but that would have taken away the realistic feel to it... so i let it stay... and i can see how it might be slow... but for me her performance makes it worth watching even in those beginning parts ;) thanks again for those comments...

now on her... yeah... she was amazing... and i'd love to be able to use her again, but sadly enough i doubt it will happen. she doesn't live around here... and i haven't even seen her again since the night we shot that. we've emailed a few times... but that's about it... and oddly enough... she was the only person that i've shown it to who wasn't particularly excited about it... her response was basically just "i'm glad it turned out the way you wanted it to.." and that was it... i don't know whether she didn't like it or what... i hope she did... because i think she did an amazing job... i'd like her to be proud of it... oh well...

i'm actually still editing a film with her in it.... it's how i met her to begin with... is a short slasher horror b-movie type thing that i helped another director shoot... not my mind of movie... but was a blast to make... fake blood and stuff ;) haha so you'll get to see her again, at least in that... but she doesn't really get to do much in the way of outstanding acting in it...

anyway, thanks for all your comments, brooksy... i appreciate you taking the time to watch it, think about it, and write that much in response :)
 
I don't know much about making films so this is from a "consumer" who is interested in learning. ;)

The think I liked the best was how I could really see a transformation from beginning to end in the character's emotional and psychological state! I thought that was done well.

I don't have any critiques because, well, I know nothing. :D However, I do like what Brooksy had to say about the lighting. That makes sense to me.

Looking forward to the Horror film!
 
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