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watch The Real Spartan - A Live-Action Machinima

HaloUnionProductions

HaloUnionProductions



Here is the pilot for my new web-series, The Real Spartan. The video mixes live-action footage with machinima (using video games to create narrative films) like never seen before. Microsoft's 343 Industries has seen the video and is backing it by posting it on their miscellaneous media outlets.

Please, check it out, and as always, criticism is highly encouraged.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkFh3ot9hJY


I hope you enjoy.
 
It was a big miss for me.

I appreciate the amount of work you put into it.

My biggest issues I had with it were the lead, bad language/adult humor, poor font selection and over-weight and male Cortana (!!! - which would anger many Halo fans).

Is your audience kids or adults? If kids I would cut the bad language and adult humor, and make the lead a kid - not an adult. What age is the "bullied teen" Chauncey? You say he's a "bullied teen" but his voice over makes him sound like he's in his 20's/30's...

I love the CGI Halo films on youtube, eg:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlQeLoTUoZE

...they're obviously high-end and expensive

I also loved the Halo live-action movie that was released in 2012: Halo 4: Forward Unto Dawn.

So I am a Halo fan.

Personally, if you're going to continue with this line of humor, I would see Halo fans hating your web series - not liking it. Are you aiming for Halo fans?
 
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Nice work! There were a few things that bothered me though.

Not very funny to me. There wasn't really anything in there that made me laugh, or even make me grin.

Some sound effects/foley would greatly improve this short. Music and dialogue isn't enough.

Like IndiePaul said, who is your audience? You're making fun of Halo (and their fans). The humor isn't appropriate for kids, and unless they are a fan of Halo, most adults won't care for it (but it doesn't matter, because they'll probably be offended).

The acting and some of the music seems really cheesy as well.

Also, there didn't really seem to be a clear and/or exciting goal or conflict. The film just felt kind of flat the whole way through.

POSITIVE

Some nice VFX, cinematography, editing, and grading.
 
Thanks for the criticism, guys. To answer your question, the target audience is roughly teenage boys. They love vulgarity and inappropriate things, and at the same time, they can be a bit immature.

Paul, why would Halo fans not like the series?
 
HaloUnionProductions said:
Paul, why would Halo fans not like the series?
Click to expand...

As always, it's just my opinion but I am a Halo fan. I largely answered that in my original reply.

I hated seeing super-hot Cortana:

halo-4-cortana-256389-e1379169034457.jpg


...turned into an over-weight guy.

Also, Chauncey sounded 20's/30's when he was supposed to be a "bullied teen", and he was very meek and not 'cool' in any way. Most Halo fans think Halo is hyper-cool. So I would have the teen lead be somewhat cool too. Someone to admire, not look down on as weak and pathetic.
 
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IndiePaul said:
As always, it's just my opinion but I am a Halo fan. I largely answered that in my original reply.

I hated seeing super-hot Cortana:

halo-4-cortana-256389-e1379169034457.jpg


...turned into an over-weight guy.

Also, Chauncey sounded 20's/30's when he was supposed to be a "bullied teen", and he was very meek and not 'cool' in any way. Most Halo fans think Halo is hyper-cool. So I would have the teen lead be somewhat cool too. Someone to admire, not look down on as weak and pathetic.
Click to expand...


But that's the joke. And that's exactly how you're supposed to feel because that's how Chauncey feels. And television networks get people in their 20's or even 30's (Glee, Smallville, etc.) to play high schoolers all the time. So not sure if that's a problem.
 
Yeah...

Sorry to say this, but I didn't find this funny.

And this won't appeal to Halo fans because you’re making fun of them. Your lead character, the Halo fan, is a reflection of them. He’s an idiot, he’s un-cool and he has no friends. By extension, this is how you are labelling Halo fans.

Needs some thinking about.
 
Good point Hatter. Though this may be true for a kid that is a fan of something insanely unpopular, this is not an accurate description of a common Halo fan. (hell, even the "jocky" guys play Halo) Look at the guys from Roosterteeth. THAT would be a more accurate description (minus the awesome jobs for the most part)
 
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