The Burden of Frank & Mariko

[dsd_uk]

This is something I wrote early on in the year that nearly got left to rot. Not entirely sure if the narration does the script more harm than good, I thought of scratching it entirely and letting it be more of a silent affair and letting the viewer come to their own conclusions as to the story of Frank & Mariko, who and what they are...but for now I left narration in. Not my most self-valued work but hopefully will keep you miserably entertained for a few minutes.

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&...TgtMmJiNC00YmRkLWI3MGItZTFmZmQyYjkzNDE0&hl=en

 

[jrsmithson]

-A blue sky feels the screen. (fills?)pg.2
-vision was an opulent of necessity. (opulent is an adjective)
-Such purity thought Mariko, it shines through the squaller on this earth.(squalor? or smaller?)pg. 4
-purity becomes....more devine. (divine?) pg.5
(So mariko is taking the lives..?)pg.6
-This is completely subjective, but maybe instead of

An age old curse decrepid in it’s own twisted violation keeps Frank & Mariko from being at peace.

it could be more like

An age old curse culminating in it’s own twisted violation keeps Frank & Mariko from being at peace.

pg.7
I really like the story.. I think there could be more conflict for Frank, he basically just enables people to do things they already want to do. Not alot of challenges are faced. Though I guess he presents the challenge to other people, he subsidizes death. I was expecting a twist ending or some kind of redemption, but instead get a looney tunes assault. Just some food for thought, but I like the way the story unfolds, and the water vat submersions are interesting. Hope to see it in digital celluloid in the screening room.

 

[dsd_uk]

HI, cheers for the response and taking the time to read the script, yeah my spelling is at times terrifying I'll be the first to admit to that, I’ll be doing my corrections after this post. I started the script with no real direction, I just wanted to create something dark yet appealing. The mild twist was the man walking down the street at the end carrying a bird in a cage, another pair of twisted souls like Frank & Mariko that either perform the same duties or carry out other twisted and dark deeds. That can be for the viewer to decide.
The script is morbid, so the Looney toons assault would come as a surprise, something completely unexpected and maybe irrelevant, but if it catches the viewer off guard...then I'm happy.