• Wondering which camera, gear, computer, or software to buy? Ask in our Gear Guide.

critique Short Script Feedback

I would say the ending is underwhelming and doesn't feel like it plays well with the setup. I think you are attempting to give us a false sadness over him not being able to get the job. Are we meant to worry more about him getting the job or about him stepping up as a father?
 
I would hope that OddGinger would develop more on these opinions. I don't understand why the ending didn't play out well with the setup. In the end we are led to witness a man who, despite all adversity has risen to the challenge ahead and by making( what we are led to believe) is the right choice has gained everything that at first seemed opposed.

I think it's quite concise. its a bit short, but maybe that set up didn't have that much more. I think visually there could be more information added if this is the end of a longer story for example, maybe there's more to explore in the way of his feelings, the people around, the reactions of others etc. but generally speaking I think it's strong point i the fact you are willing to pull at our heart strings. That seems to be important for you and it's working.

I don't like the title. it's a bit simple, doesn't make me dream. It's not aspirational, no-one wants to be capable, we all want to be extraordinary, just like this man, whatever his definition of extraordinary may be.
 
Back
Top