archived-videos Short Film Noir - Entrapment (5 Minutes)

[TerrorBite]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/k_QsrjrRRg8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>



Hi all,

Long time lurker on this forum, thought it is about time i posted something.
I have just completed my first short film, a 5 minute British Film Noir around corruption and entrapment, made for under $100.
I would love to get peoples opinions and constructive criticism on this, as a 17 year old film student in a rural area these online resources of very important to me and i am extremely thankful for such brilliant communities.

Any questions on this i would be more than happy to answer

Thank you for your time!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_Q...ps5cl2tczmyv04&google_view_type#gpluscomments

- Ben Davies

 

[gorillaonabike]

Firstly, congrats on your short.

In terms of critique, the stuff that needed to be worked on: The short needed to breathe a lot more as it was too tightly cut, the performance of the older male actor let the cast down and the DoP needed to sort out their exposure. Sound was inconsistent and needed a little work.

The good stuff was firstly, I learned some stuff around camerawork as the movement shots were fantastic - really amazing. I loved the opening shot and the movement in the alley shot. I think the DoP was fantastically strong around movement (just superb) and I liked some of the static stuff but needed some help with exposure and the still stuff lacked some tricks. The younger actors were pretty good and sold it but again, just needed a little more space and time to give a performance. I also liked the premise of a film noir.

Congrats and some elements were insanely good whereas other elements definitely needed work.