• Wondering which camera, gear, computer, or software to buy? Ask in our Gear Guide.

Script length, time, and action.

This is similar to the “action sequences” post, but I was wondering how to deal with script length with action laden scripts? For instance, I’m working on one now that has several scenes where there’s lots of sneaking around and war. You can only describe this in so many words without sounding redundant. While it may only take 1 or 2/8th a page to describe the scene, it will take at least a minute or more on screen. So far the script’s only 72 pages, and I’d like to expand it to around 80 before the final draft. I’ve seen a lot of contests that consider a feature at least 90 pages, but the story would be too bogged down and loose its pace if I added on another 18 pages. So time wise it should reach around 90 min on the screen, but it’s short on pages. Any suggestions?
 
Expand your action scenes with as much white space as possible. This will not only give you a longer script, but will make the read seem quicker, as well. I highly doubt a script reader will even take a look at a script that is that short, so you might as well expand it.

Instead of making a paragraph of action, space it out line by line. It will also help emphasize the "beats" of the action.

- Mike.
 
case

Why, Ano, don't you put a few pages of your text up, at a server.

Several of us could read, and work out how to modify.


Might work better than this.

](*,) :^o


Good luck, mate.

Case
 
You asked for it. I would love to have feedback, comments, constructive criticism, and anything else that’s helpful done to this script. Be specific and thorough. I’ve got a thick skin and I take criticism well so please don’t hold back. I don’t care if I have to read 50 pages of comments, give me as much as you want! If you would like to review my script, you can download a full copy by going to http://www.paralink.com/Vfs/cgi-bin/vf-logindom.cgi. Login is case sensitive. Domain: zoomedit Username: indietalk Password: indietalk. Once logged on you will see a Windows style file structure on the left. Click on the file ‘Strength of the Strong’ once. In this file you will see two files one in Final Draft format and one in Acrobat format. If you need it in another format, just email me and I will send you one in the preferred format. Click on the preferred file format and click the icon above labeled ‘Download’ when you float the cursor over it. Follow the download instructions in the pop up box because they are a bit unusual. Click on the help button in the top right for help, or the logoff button that looks like a house when done. When you are done, please email me with any comments, suggestions, etc. at film8ker@hotmail.com, or PM me here. I really want to have another draft or two done by the end of August, and I will be unreachable from 8/1 through 8/11. I would like all comments back by 8/15 so I can stay on my timeline. Feel free to make marks directly on the script, but if you do, please change the font color to red for easy reference. Finally, some notes. I hate to have to print this, but I’ve had problems in the past with not explaining my intentions, so in the spirit of avoiding conflict: helping with this is a favor to a fellow scriptwriter and doesn’t entitle you to credit or compensation in any way, and this script has been copywritten so please don’t steal. For some reason I can never get the title page to attach properly with FD so it won’t look right on the script, but everything else should be normal.
 
film8ker,

I just briefly glanced at your script and I can already tell you that you can significantly lengthen (and strengthen) your script by splitting up your action into much shorter paragraphs. If you do that, you will easily reach 90 pages. Some of your dialogue should be broken up, too. One thing readers like to see is white space in a script... It's just much friendlier to the eye and reads quicker, even if it's just the same thing reformatted.

For example, your first scene alone could easily be split up into at least 3/4 paragraphs, maybe more. Here's the way I think about it... every time I would like the camera to focus on something else, I start a new paragraph.

Hope this helps.

- Mike.
 
film8ker...I haven't really got time at the mo to read your script but it struck me that the solution for you may be very simple.

You say that you've got an awful lot of sneaking around and war etc. and that one can't really write too much of that stuff before it interrupts the flow of the story. I might be overly cruel in interpreting it this way but couldn't the following be another way of saying the same thing?....

"I've got an awful lot of nothing going on in my story and if I wrote it up in full, just the way that I'd like to see it filmed, it would be really tediously long and boring...but that's not what I want it to be."

Sneaking around and war is only gripping and intriguing if we feel for the characters who are sneaking and war'ing. We can only feel for characters which are engaged in doing something...sneaking around and war'ing might be a little too generic an activity..and perhaps somewhat alien to us to buy into...maybe you're looking for some sub plots to drive the characters through these sparse sequences. Perhaps one nonchelantly has a bet on whilst another is homesick. Soon, and with very few words, you should be able to fill these empty moments with cinematic tension...the kind of which actors just LOVE to jump into.

good luck :wink:
 
? Prouductions

Thanks for the script; nice reading it at 11:50 here.

------------------------------------------------------------

As far as I can see, for me to use, I just don't need the descriptions of the action.

All I really want, is the ethos of the characters, maybe, and some of the pointers over what outcome is best for the development.

It's fine, and I've got two scenes drafted up.


Case
 
Repeat mate, I didnt post this thread but when i get some action scenes done up ill stick em up here somewhere - right now i got other projects at the mo but when i get some time soon ill write u an action scene n see what u make of it coz at the moment i havent actually sat down to write one as most of my work is planning right now.
anyway working on some shorts at the moment so will have something soon to read whether it's action or not
my heads not banging against the wall just yet :)
 
? Prouductions, London. Fight Design.

Ano, we know each other, mate.

--------------------

There's on rush, but when I get a script from yourself, I'll always work the action in for you.

My hint, just don't work action in; when we think of text, it mainly consists of 'acting (to render the dramaturgy), business and action.

You only add something in, when it has something particular to say:

For example.

I need to show a quiet person suddenly interjecting so, in the script, I'll show him slamming a cup down or picking up a map (business).

So, when you consider action, it should only be what is needed to show an intent.

Example:

He runs in, and takes up a guard (to show his intention to intervene at last).

----------------------------

Just think of this, as a way to construct your story.
You're thinking of 'coverage', which is a different thing. Like progression, it's something that is done after the Directing has begun.


'Phew'

Case Ash
? Productions Limited






Mr Case Ash

company director


? Productions Ltd
London

superiorstunts.tk [www.superiorstunts.tk]

choreographyservices@toughguy.net
 
I know we do mate but I wouldve thought if u were gonna post something for me you would either have sent a PM or put it on my post
Anyway it'll be a while before I have anything to show you
 
Action

Find 3 scripts with similar scenes to yours.

Read them at Drew's:
http://www.script-o-rama.com

See how the scenes were written - do that. The reason why you want to find 3 is so that you'll see the big picture, rather than a writer's individual style.

Like I said in the Action thread - action is story and character, so if your "sneaking around" isn't telling the story or exploring the character - get rid of it.

I think this will link you to an article about how decision in action shows character:
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/articles/decision.htm

Here's a tip on how action can show changes in character:
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/tips/tip235.htm

If your action is just action - it's garbage. It needs to be telling the story and exploring the characters. Everything on screen needs to be story - or you're just making a porn film.

- Bill
 
More On Action & Visual Storytelling

Here's another article on Visual Storytelling (you know - what film *is*) -

http://www.scriptsecrets.net/articles/theone.htm

And here's a tip on writing action scenes:

http://www.scriptsecrets.net/tips/tip80.htm

But the main thing to do is read a stack of scripts. If you want to write scripts, you need to have read so many scripts that you *think* in scripts.

Oh - and here's how visual storytelling can work in a drama:

http://www.scriptsecrets.net/tips/tip288.htm

Remember that 60%-70% of the average film's income is from overseas - countries that do not speak Englisg and rely on the VISUALS to tell them the story. (Some countries don't subtite - not enough people can read, and don't dub - too many dialects... they have an in-theater translater giving the general idea of what the characters say and the audience learns everything else from the actions of the characters - what they DO.)

- Bill
 
Writing the action

There's been a lot of advice here, but why buck the trend?

I haven't read your script, because I'm in mid script myself at the moment and make it a rule not read other people's work when I'm writing.

However, I usually figure on about 120 pages for a feature, so 70 sounds light.

In my experience action sequences need good, clear description to make the script read well. As a director I like to be able to visualise the sequence clearly, I want to know what is going on in the scene that is going to hold the audience's attention and how it fits into the story. In terms of giving the actors a fair chance, I'm also trying to understand all the character's relationships to the action. The description therefore has to convey all of this information.

In my opinion these kind of sequences are a pain to write and difficult to make compelling reading, but hey, if anyone could do where would the challenge come from. I think the trick is to make sure that your complete understanding of the sequence gets onto the page.
 
Writing the action

There's been a lot of advice here, but why buck the trend?

I haven't read your script, because I'm in mid script myself at the moment and make it a rule not read other people's work when I'm writing.

However, I usually figure on about 120 pages for a feature, so 70 sounds light.

In my experience action sequences need good, clear description to make the script read well. As a director I like to be able to visualise the sequence clearly, I want to know what is going on in the scene that is going to hold the audience's attention and how it fits into the story. In terms of giving the actors a fair chance, I'm also trying to understand all the character's relationships to the action. The description therefore has to convey all of this information.

In my opinion these kind of sequences are a pain to write and difficult to make compelling reading, but hey, if anyone could do where would the challenge come from. I think the trick is to make sure that your complete understanding of the sequence gets onto the page.
 
Writing the action

There's been a lot of advice here, but why buck the trend?

I haven't read your script, because I'm in mid script myself at the moment and make it a rule not read other people's work when I'm writing.

However, I usually figure on about 120 pages for a feature, so 70 sounds light.

In my experience action sequences need good, clear description to make the script read well. As a director I like to be able to visualise the sequence clearly, I want to know what is going on in the scene that is going to hold the audience's attention and how it fits into the story. In terms of giving the actors a fair chance, I'm also trying to understand all the character's relationships to the action. The description therefore has to convey all of this information.

In my opinion these kind of sequences are a pain to write and difficult to make compelling reading, but hey, if anyone could do it where would the challenge come from. I think the trick is to make sure that your complete understanding of the sequence gets onto the page.
 
Back
Top