"Savor"- short script feedback

[cristianfechete]

Wrote this one night to get rid of an idea that kept bugging me. Wanna know if you guys think it's worth investing more time to make it shine.

Logline: An eccentric chef finds the recipe for life itself, but has to pay a terrible price for it.

PPages: 13

You can find the script here: http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/Savor.pdf

Thanks.

 

[FantasySciFi]

It felt a bit heavy handed and predictable but would make a good short. It has some basic problems with "We see ..." and other format issues that you'd want to fix if you intend to send this off. You might try shooting it yourself.