Interesting story but it has flaws that detract.
The formatting has spelling and grammar mistakes. Additionally, the sluglines should refer to the time (DAY or NIGHT generally). There are other basic errors that occur which are sufficient that they would raise red flags for a reader. You should check out standard books on screenwriting format and proofread your script.
The structure is flawed by pacing issues. By page ten, I should have a clear sense of the characters and good sense of their mission. It should also start to set the situation for the start of the first crisis or transition point. In that sense, the structure is linked to the story. The principal problem is the dialogue. The characters have very similar voices, so they are virtually indistinguishable. Second, the dialogue suggests 12 year old girls. In contrast, the physical description suggests twenty somethings. The dialogue needs to be less conversational and more purposeful. While I read through to the end, to be honest, the dialogue was a major turn off. It was catty infighting which really works against building initial interest in the characters. I felt more sympathy for Barns than for the girls. If I were a viewer, I'd probably have stopped watching before reaching that point.
Storywise, you need to give more development. When is this taking place? Who is Dr. Green? What are they a part of? Who is Mr. Barns? Why and what are they stealing from him? Are the girls good guys or the bad guys? Much of that should be addressed in the first 10-12 pages. Instead six of the pages just focus on Megan's hissy fit. The next several pages are just a sequence of gymnastics and alien(?) powers. I didn't feel the girls were sufficiently cohesive to work together. Don't lead off with a conflict among your protagonists, it will make it hard for the audience to sympathize with them. If you were to delete all the dialogue, would the viewer be able to understand what was going on from the action?
At this point, you have a rough script that needs to be refined and re-worked before being submitted. The story idea may be good but the presentation (format and structure) would be sufficient to have a reader pass rather than refer it on.
