archived-videos Newest Short - "The Rakist", would love critique

[Revvd Media]

Hello fellow filmmakers! I am mainly posting this video up as I would love to get some critiquing from others more experienced in the arts than I. I'm typically doing anything and sometimes everything you see from the writing to the final editing and everything in between. One of my actors is film school trained and voiced some concerns regarding hard jumps that I used. Although some of this was trying to hit a 2 minute (before credits) time constraint, some of it was my intention. Can you note any areas that could have used meaningful inserts? What took you out of the plot? This is indeed meant to be a silly story, but it was my first attempt with "chase" footage. Yes, I did use what I deliberately chose to be aggressive color grading.

Thanks in advance for any tips, advice and critiques!

*Fair warning, this video has the "B" word twice...other than that, it's clean.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiUe_7YV1dA

 

[ChimpPhobiaFilms]

The audio needs some work, and some subtle static/analog artifact filters throw over the TV footage would have further sold the television effect. Some deeper, darker, or some three dimensional wounds on the man being interviewed would help as well. The color grading in the house was okay, but I think you could have darkened the blacks a bit. It looked somewhat blue. The lack of movement took away most of the tension, and the character's response (no yelling and disruption in broad daylight?) seemed a bit awkward.

There are some really nice elements, and it was entertaining, but it could be better.

Thanks for posting

 

[Revvd Media]

The audio needs some work, and some subtle static/analog artifact filters throw over the TV footage would have further sold the television effect. (I agree with modifying the TV image further. Regarding audio, was it equalization, the foley work (SFX) or the horrible wind noise in the news section?) Some deeper, darker, or some three dimensional wounds on the man being interviewed would help as well. (That was a rushed/laziness choice on my part...)The color grading in the house was okay, but I think you could have darkened the blacks a bit. It looked somewhat blue.I did lower the contrast/blacks in the house as I found it made my brown couch look too black. I'm possibly too careful with my blacks because sometimes YouTube darkens it further making it almost unwatchable at times. The blue, yes that was somewhat of a stylistic choice, I chose an aggressive Hollywood color correction style, somewhat inspired by Transformers which is increased yellows on the highs and increased blues on the lows) The lack of movement took away most of the tension, and the character's response (no yelling and disruption in broad daylight?) seemed a bit awkward. I did have the actor yelling "No!" repeatedly when he first sees The Rakist, but it just didn't look well acted when I did the post production work, so I cut it...And by lack of movement, do you mean character movement or camera movement?)

There are some really nice elements, and it was entertaining, but it could be better.

Thanks for posting

Thanks so much for the constructive feedback. I often film and expect better things that what I end up with and it often leaves me disappointed. I hope to develop as quickly as possible, and I think a lot of it just comes down to practice as I think I have maybe a solid 20 hours of time behind the camera so far and no real training other than what YouTube and Google has taught me. I added a couple notes to your comments as food for thought, feel free to elaborate further if I made mistakes in my judgement

 

[ChimpPhobiaFilms]

When I meant movement, I was talking about camera movement.
The audio overall just seemed poor. It felt muffled and distant.
Many "Hollywood" films have that color scheme, but it's usually more so in the lighting than in the grading.

Overall well done. I hope to see more from you.

Also, thank you for not being one of those people that tear me apart when I give feedback

Have a good Halloween

 

[Revvd Media]

When I meant movement, I was talking about camera movement.
The audio overall just seemed poor. It felt muffled and distant.
Many "Hollywood" films have that color scheme, but it's usually more so in the lighting than in the grading.

Overall well done. I hope to see more from you.

Also, thank you for not being one of those people that tear me apart when I give feedback

Have a good Halloween

Fair enough on the camera movement. I intended to build a DIY camera dolly for a few shots, but I couldn't get my hands on some spacers for the wheels that I needed to make it work. I'm not getting the look I want with my DIY steadycam alone, so I ended up just setting it on a tripod for quite a few shots. All of the moving shots are using that steadycam though, I'm not too disappointed with the results to be honest.

For the audio, I wish I knew how to improve it. I have a Rode VideoMic Pro run to a Zoom H1, I try to set the levels as close to 0dB as I can get without clipping, and it's usually handheld at the end of a broom-stick boom pole as close to the talent as the framing will allow. Maybe the deadcat is muffling the sound somewhat? If it's mainly the sound on the news scene that is bad, and not as bad for the interior house shots, that could have been my boom operator not aiming properly, or holding it too high. He has zero experience in that field, we used the actors to do some of these jobs...lol.

PRACTICE PRACTICE I suppose

 

[shushmike]

i think it was a good idea..kinda funny lol the rakist..the audio was definitely slacking i won't lie..also..i think a few more camera movements and angles would've made it pop..for example..when the actor left the house and close the gate before it close maybe a quick cut of a close up of the hand and latch shutting or something..not sure if that make sense lol but overall i thought it was entertaining

 

[Revvd Media]

i think it was a good idea..kinda funny lol the rakist..the audio was definitely slacking i won't lie..also..i think a few more camera movements and angles would've made it pop..for example..when the actor left the house and close the gate before it close maybe a quick cut of a close up of the hand and latch shutting or something..not sure if that make sense lol but overall i thought it was entertaining

Thanks for the critique. For some reason, I thought 33 shots (which is what this took, although some were cut) seemed like a lot for a film with less than 2 minutes of footage, but you, Chimp and my film school trained actor all seem to agree that some inserts would have helped. My actor stated that the jump from the basement to the front door was huge and a big no-no. I wanted to see if anyone would have commented on it because I could have added inserts like putting shoes on, etc, but in my mind, sometimes I think, "who cares?" I like to cut as much irrelevant footage as I can because he said he is going to the store, so we know he is leaving the house. Who cares what happens between those two things? What are your thoughts on this?

The issue I have with inserts and choosing them is on 2 levels. First, I see a lot of short films with artsy-fartsy inserts that look like they've been placed there merely to portray a higher level of cinematography, but really don't add anything to the story. They look artsy, but not Hollywood, which is the direction I intend to go. Secondly, if I am to use inserts, I want to use ONLY what is really relevant, especially since I post my content to YouTube. People of the internet have a very short attention span, and in a lot of cases, people watch insert footage and think "who cares, hurry up the story". I'm often faced with the dilemma of what should I add and what I shouldn't. I guess right now with my limited experience it comes down to me following my own advice I give to others, film lots of extra footage, cut what you don't need. I didn't film any extra inserts on this film, hence I didn't use any.

Sorry my response is so long winded, I'm just trying to progress and quickly and effectively as I can. I WANT to have amazing content. All your critiques are really appreciated and will help me grow!

 

[shushmike]

yeah i can understand..when i seen the cut from the basement to leaving the front i thought it was somewhat of a big jump but like you said he did announce he was going to the store so i get why you made the decision..to simplify it without dragging out the process you could've A.) added three extra cuts of{over the shoulder shot of him going up the steps..shot of him coming out and heading to front and of course the exit before he went outside} B.) after he said he was going to the store maybe doing like a 3-4 second fade? and then fading in to him leaving..just my thoughts