Okey dokey, so I am planning to start production on my second short film next month, and I've been putting a lot of time into getting the script just "write" (motherfucker...). Anyway, what I am asking you fine people to do is to pick through it and tear it to shit, basically.
First thing's first, though: It is not very descriptive of characters or locations or really a lot of other things, due to the fact that I am 17 and filming it myself with the help of friends. I also am funding it with some of my graduation money, which was very hard to part with... So, I guess what I mean is, pretty please don't nitpick about it not being in industry format and what-not (I know industry format, and I write my features in it, but in cases like this, I find it easier to just not really give a shit, which probably makes me look bad).
Secondly, in order to make a superfluous scene that I wrote because I liked the idea at the time, um, more meaningful and actually deservant to exist, I changed some stuff around (which you will not notice, having never read the other drafts) and added a new character (although I suppose they are all new to you) who is inexplicably British. And by that I mean, all the other characters are American, and this one is British out of nowhere. He is British because that is the only way I could imagine the scene, and it's never explained in the script. So, um, I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me if that is too out of place.
Erm, thirdly, I've become increasingly concerned that the script is, like, incredibly misogynistic, so I'd enjoy it if you'd weigh in on that. Also, when I imagined the ending I was thinking that I wanted the film to be a super dark, like, pitch black comedy but I don't know if it's particularly funny unless you're just about as depressed and cynical as I am. And even then I'm thinking it's less funny as of late. Thought I'd put that out there. I'm actually pretty sure I accidentally wrote a story that is symbolic of how I deal with good(ish) things in my life (such as women who enjoy me for what ever reason), in that I often push them away, ignore them, or just completely ruin the situation. ...
Uhh, if you've made it this far, you must really enjoy rambling idiots. Sorry about that. Here's my screenplay, Comfort.
First thing's first, though: It is not very descriptive of characters or locations or really a lot of other things, due to the fact that I am 17 and filming it myself with the help of friends. I also am funding it with some of my graduation money, which was very hard to part with... So, I guess what I mean is, pretty please don't nitpick about it not being in industry format and what-not (I know industry format, and I write my features in it, but in cases like this, I find it easier to just not really give a shit, which probably makes me look bad).
Secondly, in order to make a superfluous scene that I wrote because I liked the idea at the time, um, more meaningful and actually deservant to exist, I changed some stuff around (which you will not notice, having never read the other drafts) and added a new character (although I suppose they are all new to you) who is inexplicably British. And by that I mean, all the other characters are American, and this one is British out of nowhere. He is British because that is the only way I could imagine the scene, and it's never explained in the script. So, um, I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me if that is too out of place.
Erm, thirdly, I've become increasingly concerned that the script is, like, incredibly misogynistic, so I'd enjoy it if you'd weigh in on that. Also, when I imagined the ending I was thinking that I wanted the film to be a super dark, like, pitch black comedy but I don't know if it's particularly funny unless you're just about as depressed and cynical as I am. And even then I'm thinking it's less funny as of late. Thought I'd put that out there. I'm actually pretty sure I accidentally wrote a story that is symbolic of how I deal with good(ish) things in my life (such as women who enjoy me for what ever reason), in that I often push them away, ignore them, or just completely ruin the situation. ...
Uhh, if you've made it this far, you must really enjoy rambling idiots. Sorry about that. Here's my screenplay, Comfort.
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. If all goes according to plan, that is. And also finding an actress for this has been the most difficult task of my entire life. Most of the people I have asked have said no before even reading the script.
