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My short film is up!

M

MelonDome

Hey guys! Im still a novice on the indy film making; so be aware!

This is a short film I made for practice, fun, and as an extra credit assignment at Millikan High. It was shot all in one day, and it was a little rushed because of the potential rain.

It was shot on 24f, on a XH-A1 with a Kodak Film preset. No lighting or additional recording devices were used.(Just camera and tripod).

http://youtube.com/watch?v=AnYxFLlMR_Q

Its about 9 minutes long. I'd appreciate the harsh criticism, need as much advice as possible.
 
That was nicely done, you have a good eye for shooting.

Rather than pick at little things in the production I would bet that you will see the things you don't like about it and straighten them out the next time.

Throw in some lights and a microphone or two and you will be in business.

It could have just been the YouTube transfer but the only tidbit I would say anything about was the "sticky" panning when following the car, if it's not YouTube, then it is easily fixed with a smoother tripod.

Again it could be YouTube, but there seemed to be a hiccup in the editing at around 7:10 (might be my crappy connection too!) and I got the feeling the auto exposure was trying to compensate when shooting out of the trunk.

None of that took away from your film though, it was entertaining from start to finish and very well shot.

Neil
 
Thanks guys! Yea I definently need to be smoother with the tripod. It is a heavy duty tripod, I just got too scared cause I thought I wouldnt be able to follow the car fast enough.. Thanks for the advice man, I will definently try and do better next time.

1 question I have. in the dialogue, the guys talk about how mcdonalds is shit food ect. Could I get sued because I said that in my film? Cause I would imagine that you cant ttalk trash about another company on a film and put it out for people to see. I put a little disclaimer on my video info...
 
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MelonDome said:
1 question I have. in the dialogue, the guys talk about how mcdonalds is shit food ect. Could I get sued because I said that in my film? Cause I would imagine that you cant ttalk trash about another company on a film and put it out for people to see. I put a little disclaimer on my video info...
Click to expand...

I don't know that a disclaimer would help. You're also using copyrighted music, and although you state that the video is not intended for distribution, it's currently being distributed worldwide via youtube :)

That questions being answered, I liked it. I especially liked the framing of the shot where they're starting the car.

I got one hiccup in the dialog toward the end, not sure if that's in the edit or in the playback via youtube. and the cut to closeup when drinking seems harsh...perhaps you could motivate the cut by letting us hear the straw sound just before the cut.

When we cut, unless we want purposely to bring attention to the cut to make it jarring and bring the viewer out of the picture, wee try to make a motivated cut. This would be a time when the viewer wants to look at something other than the shot. Psychologically, if we hear a noise, we want to look towards the source of that sound. So starting a sound from the closeup just before the cut makes the viewer want to look at the source of the sound. That same cut with a sound motivation could just magically disappear as it becomes something we want to see.

A great book on the holistic approach to editing is "In the blink of an eye" by Walter Murch. He discussion his theories on how we see the world and how this applies to editing.
 
Not so much the tripod, but a fluid head for it.

Yes, entertaining. Not much can top Samuel L. Jackson's performance, though. Love that movie. Nice touch with the apparent role reversal.

Overall, good job! Keep at it.
 
Hey, nice job on this! In some of the shots I was hoping that the eyeline would be closer to 1/3 of the way down the screen, but really it was well shot! I agree w/ a smoother tripod motion being needed. But for shot in one day? Well done, man!
 
I agree with the comments above. Overall a great early effort. I liked some of the editing in the later half. Since it is a short movie, I would recommend tightening up some of the lingering scenes of the car driving. Long shots like that are ok in a feature, but most poeple tend to get impatient with short movies -- they want you to keep the action moving. The actors seemed at ease with what they were doing, which helps a lot.

Let us know when you have another one ready!
 
Considering this was one day and it was just for practice, I thought it was pretty good. I agreed with the way you framed your shots for the most part. There were a few times in the car that I thought the heads weren't in the right place, but you may have been going for an uncomfortable feeling though. Also, I thought the trunk shot could have been angled upward more.

I can tell you do have an eye for framing and considering this was one day, I think the editing was good as well.

Invest in some lighting equipment (even cheap work lights from home depot or lowe's can do wonders if diffused and flagged correctly) and a shotgun mic.

By the way, a great book on lighting theory is Matters of Light and Depth. I have the book and although it doesn't explain with a lot of examples, I love the theory it employs because it makes you think about how to light scenes based on personal style.

Good job on wardrobe by the way.

Great work. I think you have a bright future in making films.
 
I thought the camera shots were pretty good :)

I will agree with what has been said about your tripod. You really need a fluid head and it might be worth it to make the investment.

Nice job!


-- spinner :cool:
 
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