Here's a little rant from my genius friend, Ethan, on the ten best films of the decade.
I agree for the most part, except when I don't. Enjoy!
Because I only allow myself one Movie Rant per decade...
...I'm not going to bash Hollywood, because if you were a Hollywood exec, and you knew
1) after the yogurt's gone, first-world 15-year-olds still have nowhere to go in The Cruel World of Three Dimensions,
2) explosions and bombshells transcend language,
and
3) the average night out at the movies for an adult couple (babysitter, gas, parking, drinks, dinner and post-movie-night-makeup-gift for Something Your Date Can't Believe You Said) is $946,
I'm guessing you'd be a lot more interested in bankrolling Snakes On A Plane than My Summer with Nietszche too.
But if you do happen to be sick of
a) movies that feature stuff happening only because their stunted directors want them to (rhymes with Inglorious Basterds, The Dark Knight, and anything starring Shia TheBeef or girls who can't decide whether to date vampires or werewolves),
b) flicks that only seem deep because there's no music and the actors are under strict orders to talk and move at half speed (see: There Will Be Old Men),
and
c) uberhyped films that were, in retrospect, just okay (yeah, I said it, Oh Social Brokeback Slumdog Locker Brother),
you might want to reconsider your stance on subtitiles.
Because...while you may have missed a handful of intriguing films in English between 2000 and 2010--you know, because
I. Shaun of The Dead filled your British quotient, so you skipped Sexy Beast, The Damned United, An Education, In Bruges, Lunch and everything by Mike Leigh (as usual),
II. you're hellbent on not giving Sofia Coppola her due (even though Marie Antoinette freaking presaged the 2008 crash, which put Sofia alongside Nouriel Roubini, George Soros and absolutely no one else),
III. you still believe Ryan Gosling is nothing without Rachel McAdams, so you skipped the sneaky good Lars and the Real Girl and the stunning Half Nelson on principle,
and
IV. you keep wanting Amy Adams to be cute rather than great, so you skipped Junebug, Sunshine Cleaning, and Doubt,
in the meantime, what you really missed was a spectacular decade delivered by filmmakers from just about everywhere except the U.S. and the U.K.
So put those twitfacetexting skills to good use--you can watch stunning images and great acting while absorbing quick bursts of 5-10 words. And go watch the decade's best:
One) City of God...the movie Tarantino will never, ever make, because he reads comic books and watches crap films. The decade's best, hands down. If you're bored by this film, you're dead.
Two) Sin Nombre...because it's gorgeous to watch, there's something at stake right away, it tells you something about the world, and it's entertaining as hell. Secretly, it's the best take on Romeo and Juliet ever filmed.
Three) The Diving Bell and The Butterfly...I hate to say this, because I hate Julian Schnabel, but wow, what a film. Looks great, and the nonfiction story is astounding.
Four) The Beat That My Heart Skipped...Sometimes great films beat you up. This one does, in the grand tradition of Five Easy Pieces, The Deer Hunter, and Breaking The Waves.
Five) The Princess and The Warrior...yes, it's weird, but then it's an allegory. It also has the single most thrilling scene in film in the past decade.
Six and Seven) In The Mood For Love and its sequel, 2046. No one makes sexier movies than Wong Kar Wai, and these are his masterpieces. They're also beautifully written--the first features the cleverest romantic exchange I've ever seen in a film, and the second says more interesting things about the limits of fiction than any book I've ever come across.
Eight) Kung Fu Hustle...yes, it has 10 minutes of slapstick that don't work, but the last film that was anywhere near as entertaining to watch end-to-end was Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom, seven hundred million years ago.
Nine) Let The Right One In...the best Scandinavian film since Insomnia. Forget the American remake--this is the definitive argument for why Twilight sucks.
Ten) Y Tu Mama Tambien...if you still haven't seen it, well, this is how a plot twist is really done. No gadgets. Just surprising truths. The only fiction that comes close to doing what this film does is Ian McEwan's best novel, Amsterdam. And yes, you should read that one too.
Whew. A premature happy new year to everyone.
I agree for the most part, except when I don't. Enjoy!
Because I only allow myself one Movie Rant per decade...
...I'm not going to bash Hollywood, because if you were a Hollywood exec, and you knew
1) after the yogurt's gone, first-world 15-year-olds still have nowhere to go in The Cruel World of Three Dimensions,
2) explosions and bombshells transcend language,
and
3) the average night out at the movies for an adult couple (babysitter, gas, parking, drinks, dinner and post-movie-night-makeup-gift for Something Your Date Can't Believe You Said) is $946,
I'm guessing you'd be a lot more interested in bankrolling Snakes On A Plane than My Summer with Nietszche too.
But if you do happen to be sick of
a) movies that feature stuff happening only because their stunted directors want them to (rhymes with Inglorious Basterds, The Dark Knight, and anything starring Shia TheBeef or girls who can't decide whether to date vampires or werewolves),
b) flicks that only seem deep because there's no music and the actors are under strict orders to talk and move at half speed (see: There Will Be Old Men),
and
c) uberhyped films that were, in retrospect, just okay (yeah, I said it, Oh Social Brokeback Slumdog Locker Brother),
you might want to reconsider your stance on subtitiles.
Because...while you may have missed a handful of intriguing films in English between 2000 and 2010--you know, because
I. Shaun of The Dead filled your British quotient, so you skipped Sexy Beast, The Damned United, An Education, In Bruges, Lunch and everything by Mike Leigh (as usual),
II. you're hellbent on not giving Sofia Coppola her due (even though Marie Antoinette freaking presaged the 2008 crash, which put Sofia alongside Nouriel Roubini, George Soros and absolutely no one else),
III. you still believe Ryan Gosling is nothing without Rachel McAdams, so you skipped the sneaky good Lars and the Real Girl and the stunning Half Nelson on principle,
and
IV. you keep wanting Amy Adams to be cute rather than great, so you skipped Junebug, Sunshine Cleaning, and Doubt,
in the meantime, what you really missed was a spectacular decade delivered by filmmakers from just about everywhere except the U.S. and the U.K.
So put those twitfacetexting skills to good use--you can watch stunning images and great acting while absorbing quick bursts of 5-10 words. And go watch the decade's best:
One) City of God...the movie Tarantino will never, ever make, because he reads comic books and watches crap films. The decade's best, hands down. If you're bored by this film, you're dead.
Two) Sin Nombre...because it's gorgeous to watch, there's something at stake right away, it tells you something about the world, and it's entertaining as hell. Secretly, it's the best take on Romeo and Juliet ever filmed.
Three) The Diving Bell and The Butterfly...I hate to say this, because I hate Julian Schnabel, but wow, what a film. Looks great, and the nonfiction story is astounding.
Four) The Beat That My Heart Skipped...Sometimes great films beat you up. This one does, in the grand tradition of Five Easy Pieces, The Deer Hunter, and Breaking The Waves.
Five) The Princess and The Warrior...yes, it's weird, but then it's an allegory. It also has the single most thrilling scene in film in the past decade.
Six and Seven) In The Mood For Love and its sequel, 2046. No one makes sexier movies than Wong Kar Wai, and these are his masterpieces. They're also beautifully written--the first features the cleverest romantic exchange I've ever seen in a film, and the second says more interesting things about the limits of fiction than any book I've ever come across.
Eight) Kung Fu Hustle...yes, it has 10 minutes of slapstick that don't work, but the last film that was anywhere near as entertaining to watch end-to-end was Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom, seven hundred million years ago.
Nine) Let The Right One In...the best Scandinavian film since Insomnia. Forget the American remake--this is the definitive argument for why Twilight sucks.
Ten) Y Tu Mama Tambien...if you still haven't seen it, well, this is how a plot twist is really done. No gadgets. Just surprising truths. The only fiction that comes close to doing what this film does is Ian McEwan's best novel, Amsterdam. And yes, you should read that one too.
Whew. A premature happy new year to everyone.