My first short movie

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pretty good man, question how did you get ads on your first youtube upload,

it did seem a little long though, not sure how you could make it shorter though.


good luck
Seize the day each and everyday
 
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Ok.. I'll be honest here..Its WAY TOO LONG for a film that has no story..
Instead of reading what he is going through, you should SHOW visually.. Right now his feelings are in text intercut with random actions.. Also I didnt find any resolution or arc in the story.. He sulked..he drove..he got drunk..he fell..he woke up..and suddenly he had this vision...
sorry to say mate bt i didnt like it.. Also, what's the thought process behind putting color limiter(replacement) in scenes..
On the positive side.. some of the framing was good.. keep making shorts and you will get better n better..just make sure to always start with a good story..

hope it helps
 
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Eraserhead nailed it.

On the plus sides I liked your framing and the music was great. Although, am I right in assuming that the music isn't original to the film? And that you had the song picked before you edited? Because it seems like part of the problem with the pacing is that you were trying to make the action fit the movements of the song. (It would also explain why you've got ads on your video)
 
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Frankly speaking wat eraserhead said "there is no story" is true... I just wanted to show the feelings of a true lover who not able to bare the breakup with his girl and as a common thing they want to forget the past to live the future and they find drinking a best source but they doesnt realize tat drinking doesnt make a person forget the past but makes the wound even more deep... most of the people's in india are of this attitudes... I have done nothing special with the character.. i showed the common mistakes of the people, i felt tat ending his life might end the movie in a sad note which i dont want to be so..

tats y i kept the whole B/W scene as a dream sequence and made the reality into color... I wanted to show the incompleteness for which i thought B/W with a little hint of Incomplete colors will be better idea and carried out with it.... I am happy to get your critics eraserhead i liked your honest reply and yes i will be improving myself after each short movie i make and i want you to critic for each of my film...:-)

And as far as dreadylocks ya wat u said is true i wanted to match the music with the video throughout the movie... I wanted the music to be sad but not boring on sad scenes and climax music to be cheerful and not a bang bang!!! clip... but i didnt understand about the ads u r talking about...???
 
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Frankly speaking wat eraserhead said "there is no story" is true... I just wanted to show the feelings of a true lover who not able to bare the breakup with his girl and as a common thing they want to forget the past to live the future and they find drinking a best source but they doesnt realize tat drinking doesnt make a person forget the past but makes the wound even more deep... most of the people's in india are of this attitudes... I have done nothing special with the character.. i showed the common mistakes of the people, i felt tat ending his life might end the movie in a sad note which i dont want to be so..
Click to expand...

You gotto realise that feelings are always conveyed within a construct of a story (however non-existant it might seem, there is always a story) thats the only way one can connect/relate to the feelings that might be universal..
Also when trying to depict the feeling try and do it visually rather than via text.. if he is heartbroken..u can make him glance at a couple and then when u cut to his sad face it will have meaning rather than staring at his sad face for 2mins..hope u get my drift..
feelings..trauma...and how we deal with it is universal..it has nothing to do with nationality.. (m an indian as well) about the ending.. whether u want a sad or happy ending is upto you but the viewers shall feel that the character has taken a journey and arrived at a diff point than where he started (arc) which here was missing...

well done though..u have made ur first..now u can move onto second with much more confidence and learn more stuff.. its a neverending process and more you falter,quicker you will learn...best of luck
 
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I think you are right.. I will take care of it from my next projects.. How was the ending words i used in the short..? how what did u think about my effect used for incompleteness?
 
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