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watch My First Short Film - All Feedback Welcome

Love it, hate it, whatever, just let me know.

Honestly, we're all looking for constructive feedback, but don't worry about wording things delicately around me. I'm still fairly new here, and new to the filmmaking world, but I've got pretty thick skin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqha1KDUTTg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqha1KDUTTg

I'll mention up front things I know I need to work on...

1 - sound
2 - SOUND

I began reading some posts on here from the resident audio experts and I'm absolutely amazed by what I didn't know. Huge learning experience doing this project and reading about some of the things I already did wrong. Noted. Once I get to where budget permits I'm going to leave sound to the professionals. Until then I'm going to make sure I do my due diligence in the sound department.

I also need to work a little on my camera skills and what not, I think I did alright with the editing for a self taught beginner.

This was filmed using a Vixia HF M40 and HF M500. A couple shots were done with a cheap wide angle lens attachment from Amazon and it wasn't too noticeable at first, but then editing I noticed a slight fisheye effect... :grumpy:

Anyway, I'd love to hear ALL feedback on this little short film I did. I swear I'll do better next time, I promise. :cool:
 
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Cut out the opening credits. They are somewhat cheesy, and for a film this length, unneeded. The dialogue is too obvious. Everything that could have been shown was instead told to us by the characters. It was also too slow.
The shots were framed professionally, the camera movement was smooth, and the idea was interesting.
Good job :)
 
Cut out the opening credits. They are somewhat cheesy, and for a film this length, unneeded. The dialogue is too obvious. Everything that could have been shown was instead told to us by the characters. It was also too slow.
The shots were framed professionally, the camera movement was smooth, and the idea was interesting.
Good job :)

Thanks for the advice! I was a little worried about the dialogue. I guess that's part of the challenge of cramming a story in to a few minutes, and something I need to work on. I've written a few other shorts which I think are better in terms of dialogue and action. I think maybe I didn't notice it was slow because I watched it both in my head and in the editor hundreds of times over and over, so it just went right by to me. Looking back on it now, I see what you mean. Thanks again!
 
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