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watch My first real short - YOUNG DRAGON!

For such a simple concept, this movie sure did drag. Over 10 minutes for something with virtually no plot. Speaking of plot, you'll hear people say this here a lot, but story is king! As cool as some of the action sequences were, there was absolutely no substance. The only reason I watched past the first 15 seconds of the movie was because I wanted to help a fellow forumer. With that being said, I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a spoof of the genre or not. There was nothing that seemed intentionally humorous, yet I found myself giggling a lot watching this film.

The SOUND! I've said this so many times already, and I've only recently joined. This is one of the first things I notice now, because I myself did not have a microphone until last week. Using the camera's onboard microphone for films is a TERRIBLE idea. I've been there, and I didn't like it there. The audio was just terrible. This isn't a judgement of your ability to make films, but rather a judgement of your equipment. Unfortunately, a shotgun microphone is the second most piece of equipment you need (next to your camera). Sound is half of the experience.

The writing... Was insanely cheesy and uninspired. If I could nitpick writing like I usually do, I would. But there isn't really anything to nitpick. The story was simplistic. The characters had zero depth. The dialogue felt unnecessary. I really don't want to offend you, but taking a writing class or two will do wonders!

With all that said, I will admit that my first film was a million times worse. This may have been a comedy that went way over my head, or you just fooling around with friends. Either way, if it was a serious effort, you may want to read some articles (there are a lot of great ones online), and watch some movies to see how everything comes together.

Sorry if any of this offended you. I don't think false praise ever helps! I want to see how far you've progressed, fellow Torontonian.
 
Thanks for the comments. Although this was not an attempt at anything serious, I still wanted to see what people thought. It definitely is more along the lines of me messing around with friends (this is long before I started using real actors and crew). I agree with you on all points, this was shot way before I ever had access to an external mic, and the script was virtually non-existant, about 99% of all the dialogue was ad-libbed.

Thanks for taking the time to watch this film, I appreciate the comments, and no I'm not offended, people really need to learn how to take criticism if they want to showcase their stuff and learn. I will be uploading more oldies in chronological order, and they do get progressively better.

If you want to skip all that shite you can watch something I shot last year: http://www.vimeo.com/2157171

Thanks again!
 
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i watched you film...great effort to put something together...kinda classic story...been done over and over and will be again and again....

putting that aside...the one thing that stands out most that took me out of the film was the screne direction...sometimes i didnt know if the actors were comming or going and who they could be looking at...you need to Draw the Line and keep it there in your scenes...if an actor is looking left to right at another actor the other actor needs to be looking right to left so we know who he/she is looking at...same for movement in a scene...cant have someone run out of frame left and then in next shot run in left..looks like he is running the other way....

the other thing...but not such a big deal was matching sizes...cutting from someones close up to the other actors wide shot is jaring for me...i like to see more matching sizes in cuts...you can always cut in and out of shot sizes for dramatic reasons...but when people are just talking to oneanother...i like to see matching sizes...

but great work for your first film...keep up the good work and dont take things too hard when poeple make sugestions...they are only trying to make you a better film maker....its great that you dont get offended by criticism...i never do...there is always room to learn...

i'll have to watch your other film when i get a chance....
 
ok...took a few min to watch it now,,,before i hit the showers and have to go out...

its a much better production than your first and screne direction for the most part was better....but i would try not to look up at people talking in a scene...kinda takes me out of it...and not a very flattering shot for your actors as well...and try to bring your eyelines in close to camera when in tight shots with your actors talking to one an other...when its a single on an actor taling to another actor...bring the offscene actor close the the camera lans to bring the eyeline close and make the audiance feel a close part of the film...other wise shooting wide eyelines and profile CU's kinda make me feel as if someone is just watching two people talk from inside the room...and there are only two people in it...not a third watching them...and i want to see thier faces, eyes...to draw me closer in....

but a big improvement from your last film...you are getting better

be well and keep shooting
 
Your cinematograpy improved quite a bit by this film. You still have a long way to go, but now the camera movement and placement seem more... Planned? Especially during the fight sequences (which are better choreograhped too!). The only complaint I have about the fighting, is smiling actors. Your actors shouldn't be smiling in the middle of a life or death situation :P

Props for filming at my university. I got so excited when I saw Vari hall.

The acting is hit and miss. Some of it seemed really forced. You should get your actors to memorize their lines very early on, and direct them as much as possible. An example, is the character Sullivan. He seems like a decent actor. He can put on the right face at the right time. But he didn't know where to place emphasis, and he was tripping over his lines. This usually happens to actors who have to think about their lines before they say them. You should get your actors to the point where they can focus not on the line, but on how they are going to deliver it.

The writing is more believable this time around. I'll make more comments on it when I watch all 3 parts. This is another little crit of mine. You don't have enough of a hook to keep this movie going for an hour. It kind of drags. And since you don't have a captive audience, people may stop watching mid way. The best way to fix this problem is to make sure that your script is very focused. I'll talk about writing theory when I can watch the whole film.

But congrats, big improvement of the first!
 
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