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watch My 1st Short

G'day Darius! Welcome to the forums!

I've had a look at it and it's a fair effort for a first short. I have some constructive criticism for you to have a look at - but keep in mind that I'm a bloody perfectionist!

1.) Get rid of the turning with the door. I know that it helps to set the mood and I definitely felt that this was going to be some sort of eerie scene, but the turning just made me feel that I was on a boat! I would say look at something like some still shots of the door - maybe some close-up on the rusty hinges, a swinging mail flap etc. before going to the point at around 0:20 where you walk the camera through it.

2.) Overall, everything needs to be sped up. There're about a good 20-30 seconds where you're just kind of staring at the hallway with the heavy breathing. There's no tension being built apart from the music. Since we're watching a short film, you can't neglect the visual - something like a dripping tap or slowly swinging door..

3.) Now, it's 10:40pm here and I'm sitting in a dark room watching this on my 50" screen and the run up with the static just scared the living bejeebus out of me! However, I still have no idea what the short is about and it's 1:00 in.

4.) At 2:00 pleasantly surprised, thinking you just pulled some sort of switcharoo on us... er... no, it's 3 minutes of credits...

Bonus: Fix up the audio with the speech. I'm listening to this on my 5.1 speaker system, and there's still a noticeable jump in static (a lot of the time, this is only noticeable if you're wearing headphones as the nature of the 5.1 means you lose some of the sensitivity). You can try cleaning this in post with a few of the tools available (Try Magix Cleaning if you don't have anything else) and then slowly boost the levels of the audio instead of having just an abrupt cut to the dialogue.

I reckon you're going for a kind of abstract film and that's not something to discourage, but I really had no idea what's going on. I like the use of lights on the girl's face and the TV was very eery.

What was your idea behind this? Did you have a story set in your mind before you shot this? Did you sit down and storyboard it at all?

I don't want to discourage you from producing more, so I apologize if it seems like I'm nitpicking. However, Steven Spielberg wouldn't be where he was today if he hadn't made a million mistakes in the process.
 
Hi Josh.

Thanks for taking the time to watch for one and give detailed feedback. I am very proud to hear part of it scared the bajeebus out of you.

The audio is terrible, I get that and need to look into that part of things. I think I did try to have a boost in audio so it didn't cut to audio, I don't like that part myself, obviously I still didn't nail it. I'll look into that Magix tool you mentioned. Decent sound needs to be worked on...

It's just ideas really. I don't think I am trying to please anyone apart from myself really, of course I want people to like it and hope they will for what it is, you can't please everyone, even Spielberg can't :)

It's just all practice and ideas at this stage.

Again. Thanks for the feedback, appreciate it
 
G'day Darius, no stress at all!
One day I'll have to get around to putting my stuff up on Vimeo and then everyone can line up with the bat and take their shots as well, hahaha.

Audio is one of those things which is all about practice. The first time I plugged in my fancy new R0DE mic I expected it to sound like angels kissing and instead ended up with something resembling the sound of a packet of lollies being opened in a packed cinema.

Just out of curiosity, which camera did you shoot this with? A lot of them have Auto Gain Control for the audio which can be a huge pain in the ass as it will unnecessarily boost it to a static-inducing level when the ambient noise is low.

The Magix tool is the first stepping stone. It allows you to get some decent results without really knowing what's going on, but in the end you should be looking to handle issues with sound with programs like Reaper, which provide much better control over the end result.

I look forward to seeing what you come up with next!

Anyway, as you said, there's heaps to learn and there's definitely nothing wrong with producing something solely for the sake of having a play around... I mean, type "Canon Test" into Vimeo and just try counting how many videos are some guy playing around with a dolly taking shots of the trees in his backyard!
 
I used the 5DMKII and VideoMic. I was a bit disappointed with the sound. I've heard it had his and I think audio gain is the problem, but you can't (I think) turn it off unless I have Magic Lantern Installed & at this stage I'm not sure if I want to fiddle with that and I might have to downgrade the firmware. I might record the sound off camera just into a laptop and use some software to see how that goes next time.

I'd be intersted to see some of your work, I think you have to have some links somewhere especially if your going to BASH other peoples work :) I'll be the 1st in line with a big bat :)

Anyway. Again. Thanks for the feedback and taking the time out...Will definitely look at that Magix. I think I have Cakewalk somewhere, not sure if that will help...
 
That's the most drawn-out ending credits I've seen in a while :lol:

The opening put me right in the mood for some kind of haunted house story... then it's essentially all over.

Pity, Was looking forward to something with a bit of substance.

At any rate, kudos for effectively establishing a vibe for the flick. Wish the rest of it was able to follow though and deliver.
 
dariussutherland said:
I'd be intersted to see some of your work, I think you have to have some links somewhere especially if your going to BASH other peoples work :) I'll be the 1st in line with a big bat :)
Click to expand...

I do have my first first video floating around on Facebook somewhere, but I think you'll have to get a few beers in me before I ever bring that up again, hahaha.

I believe there are some pre-amps out there which pump a tone through to disable the AGC.
Specifically, this one: http://cameradojo.com/2011/12/05/juicedlink-ds214-amp-wagc-disable-review/

This is definitely going to give you a boost in terms of the quality and I like to think that the Juicedlink isn't particularly expensive. A good alternative to the Magic Lantern as I definitely share the same thoughts as you regarding the risks of installing a 3rd party firmware.

There's an excellent video review on Youtube with a gentleman comparing the Beachtek, Juicedlink and a couple other pre-amped mics versus some Lavs etc. The name escapes me right now, but I'm sure you could find it with a little search.
 
Stopped at :45. Couldn't get beyond the doors. Yeah, the boat effect has to go. On the plus side, you did limit the opening titles to a few seconds and get right into the film!

Good luck.
 
Appreciate the comments. Thanks for taking the time to look.

I like the boat effect (as it's now called) I suppose this is why they have test screenings to see what works and what doesn't. I do feel it lacked the punch I was intending but there ya go.

I am trying to achieve a certain something, which has and hasn't been achieved by some of the comments, so in that respect I'm pleased.

I think if I am to ever get into film making it would be to shoot exactly what I want as trying to please everyone never works, so I think I would please myself in hope of pleasing some of you :)

Josh. Thanks for the sound tips do you shoot shorts then? If you do you have to put them up I'm afraid.

Thanks to everyone who had a look, even 45seconds worth :) I know how it is tho as I've had a look at some vids here and I just give up coz they don't do it for me...

Watch out for more boat effects and sea sickness...Going to try and shoot another one this week. 3:42 with no drawn out credits..
 
Hey, if you really like the boat effect, don't let us talk you out of using it!

But yeah, do test screening with complete strangers and have them fill out forms (unsigned) -- you'll get brutal honesty that way.
 
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