This is the first half, the next half will be put up next week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXDUkLD9Ly4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXDUkLD9Ly4
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watch Live at Home Mobster part II
- Thread starter Shootin Jack
- Start date
I actually thought the writing was pretty funny - quite good.
But the filmmaking itself let it down. The cinematography wasn't particularly good (a lot of badly framed shots), and the editing a bit sluggish (it kind of stilted and messed with the pacing a bit). A lot of the shots felt very randomly strewn together without any real cohesiveness. I think part of this could be solved through some better sound work (and obviously particing your cinematography and editing some more). The sound was inconsistent (I was constantly turning my speakers up and down) and there were a few places where it was obvious that you were cutting between two sound tracks (work on making these more seamless, it really takes you out of things as a viewer). I found your audio issues a little surprising, as the audio recording itself doesn't seem particularly bad (though I'm not an expert on that) - your production would be a lot more cohesive with a dedicated sound editor
The actors weren't too bad either, but some casting choices were questionable (the guys Mum who takes the sons xbox could be younger than her son).
Sorry for the negativity, I actually quite liked it (and as I said, well written - in my opinion - I have very little conception of "good writing") and I watched it all the way to the end, which I don't usually do.
Oh and be careful with whip pans on a dslr, that rolling shutter is really obvious and a bit distracting
But the filmmaking itself let it down. The cinematography wasn't particularly good (a lot of badly framed shots), and the editing a bit sluggish (it kind of stilted and messed with the pacing a bit). A lot of the shots felt very randomly strewn together without any real cohesiveness. I think part of this could be solved through some better sound work (and obviously particing your cinematography and editing some more). The sound was inconsistent (I was constantly turning my speakers up and down) and there were a few places where it was obvious that you were cutting between two sound tracks (work on making these more seamless, it really takes you out of things as a viewer). I found your audio issues a little surprising, as the audio recording itself doesn't seem particularly bad (though I'm not an expert on that) - your production would be a lot more cohesive with a dedicated sound editor
The actors weren't too bad either, but some casting choices were questionable (the guys Mum who takes the sons xbox could be younger than her son).
Sorry for the negativity, I actually quite liked it (and as I said, well written - in my opinion - I have very little conception of "good writing") and I watched it all the way to the end, which I don't usually do.
Oh and be careful with whip pans on a dslr, that rolling shutter is really obvious and a bit distracting
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Thank you for the constructive critism. Only issue is we are 3 kids and a camera. So maybe sometime down the line we will be able to afford help so the tripod isnt the cinemotographer
Will do buddy!